Cave man stylee parody

Cave man stylee parody

However some of this is true, I don’t know know some of these things and I should… I do believe in women’s rights I treat women with respect but I am ignorant of many of the issues they face. This was inspired by looking at some of the ugly girls club poetry from the Brighton fringe.

I could support women and their rights

But periods frighten me

and I know nothing about my own biology.

has it come to this?

I am a man it’s not cool to pay attention in sex Ed class at school

women are sexy

but they vex me

I know nothing about contraception

I know more about call of duty

but the women are on mutiny against me

and flowers won’t heal the rift

chocolates are a gift

but they won’t lift my sisters mood

She’s right Aggy

I came from a vagina

But I don’t know how pregnancy works

it’s sperm and egg isn’t it?

I need to be taken down a peg or two

I imagine childbirth is really hard to do

and that’s not flippant or funny

I don’t know how to chat women up

So I just talk about the weather being sunny

I am man I know how to blow things up including footballs

I walk tall

but I know nothing about abortion

I live in a distortion

a male dominated world

I know girls

and women

but will they be forgiving

for me not knowing this stuff

I know I can’t bluff

anymore…

In the dragons cave

In the dragons cave filled with treasure.
with a warning you did not heed
eyes of blue become green eyes with slits
as the curse of the dragon hits.
Your heartbeat racing faster than ever before
sweat drips from every pore
skin becoming scaly and green.
Blackened claws burst through fingernails
legs and arms flail about
sickening crunches as bones grow and reform
the storm the rage of fiery dragons breath
forms in your lungs
burning all things in your path
as you exhale with a roar
horns pierce through skin and scales
break through your forehead
It hurts even more
as your jaw breaks and moves forward
into a reptile form
teeth lengthen and grow sharp
muscles expand and strengthen
tendons stretch and lengthen
nostrils flare
caught within the glare
of the mirror the witch put there
in the dragons cave
you won’t be a slave
anymore as you seek vengeance
from her and the other humans
forevermore.

Dragons cave

You had made it, your companions had all died or fled for their lives. The Dragons cave the treasure it was all yours. However you looked entranced at the mirror which gleamed with dragons head and green jewelled burning eyes. Not knowing of the ancient curse of the witch who owned the cave and its gleaming treasures. Suddenly your eyes of blue became slits of venomous green. The dragons curse was to become yours. Your heart beating faster and faster than ever before. Sweat was dripping out of every pore, skin reforming scaly and green. Blackened claws painfully breaking through all your fingernails. Your legs and arms flailing about as the pain becomes excruciating as there are sickening crunches as bones grow and reform. Your breath gasping then a roar as you exhale. Horns pierce through skin and scales breaking through your forehead. Your jaw breaks and moves forward into a reptile form. Teeth lengthen and grow sharp. Muscles once human and tired stretch and lengthen strengthen with every fibre reformed. Nostrils flare you are caught within the glare of the mirror again in the cave of the dead dragon a new dragon emerging from the hell of transformation. But instead of feeling sadness now you felt a fiery rage that you wanted to set free from its cage of constraint. The people of the city you came from who dismissed you as a vagabond are about to know the meaning of revenge.