I am a fork in a world of soup
a scout without a troop
a landline phone in a world of mobiles
a voicemail speed dial
a punchline which is a slow poke
a old bloke surrounded by stylish gits
a thong in a world of bras and tits
Facebook without the pictures
selfies at the right angle
a pen in a tangle
a stranger in a crowd
nuff said not loud
a cuppa tea in world of coffee
a defenceless toffee
in a world of chocolate biscuits
don’t risk it or me
cause i am too different
a black sheep in a world of white
a short skirt in a world of jeans
a nightmare in a world of dreams.
you may look
you may stare
but i am the unknown
you have to find me a home.
Tag Archives: humour
The world is a friend who doesn’t care
The worlds a friend who doesn’t care
sitting with a drink in hand in their underwear
the worlds a friend who won’t ask
how you are, for fear of being taken to task
the worlds a apathetic snob
who treats you like a knob
and drives you round the bend
and then pretends they don’t
like a narcissist who gaslights you every time they talk
I am sorry but all they do is squawk the loudest
and the proudest
the worlds a crowd who can’t remember your name
or all that you overcame to be here.
The worlds a computer game stage
that makes you want to rage quit
but you feel like a blue tit
wanker
cranking it up to the giga watts
but there is a power outage
the worlds a woman who you like
but never get to speak to
she’s beautiful
but she’s seems to see through you
The worlds is a beautiful game
but the football you play is rubbish a shameful
sham
when your name is…
The worlds a racket
trying to make a wage packet
but all you do is stack it
As in fall
when you try to walk tall
and wise
but you are always met with phoney surprise
I am sure this poem could go on
forever
but it was written for those like me who like to be tethered to their therapist
I am sure there’s a clever answer somewhere
but maybe the hecklers won’t speak
they been waiting here all day for me to take it in the cheek.
Helicopter lover
I’ll be your helicopter lover
Closer than twin flame or any other
I’ll be your rescue party of one
your loving song
on the radio
I can’t behave with you
But that was in those golden days
now I am like a stray
like dog on heat about to have the snip
I want to take a dip in your seas
Babe please
I’ll be your helicopter lover
Closer than twin flame or any other
I’ll be your rescue party of one
your loving song
on the radio
I can’t behave with you
I don’t know what to do I love you
but I am lost
look at what love costs
a day a week or a year
I look back to those golden times
diamond hard like my rhymes
Look you probably don’t even remember
me from January to December
you’ve moved on
but how can I be so wrong
to love you…
Alienpoetry Mixology
Like a football manager
I look to myself for management
like a football team
who’s fans scream for their cup dream
I am in the depths of relegation instead
fans dreams are dead.
I fight disturbed sleep
waking up from bad dreams
screaming booing my own game
and the shame of losing
I am bruising
going into battle like a worn out team of veteran players
I am in need of better management and encouragement and prayers
not a self talk that swears
schizophrenia and autism a toxic mix
and sometimes I cannot help but feel like a dick
another penalty going against me
I withdraw to the stands
the best laid plans
of a team with high hopes and dreams
but I keep screwing up my own team.
I am too inconsistent
Middle table in the conference is too high an expectation
when I meet my friends like fans they don’t understand
and give me a frosty reception.
Give me back my dreams
of being a winning football team
putting four past the opposition
That’s my metaphor and my disposition.
Christmas is cancelled poetry video
My poetry never gets read
My poetry never gets read
it hides in street corners instead
it lurks in the shadows of grey days
and seeps like a Smokey cigar out the window in a haze
It gathers at poetry recitals
where it splutters and mumbles
into action
my poetry is just a distraction
an interaction between a mad man and an audience
an ordinate scream
like pissing in a stream
and wondering what it smelt like
starving poets told to go on hikes
My poetry never gets read
it feeds the angels instead
but they don’t share
or care
enough to tell
what poetry of mine is from heaven and what is from hell.
I just like writing
poetry which is like lyrics without musical interlude
I know it’s rude but never mind you won’t read it anyway
and if you do have nice day…
Imp
In my wondering
pondering
desolation
I am an imp
an upstart crow
with a limp
a little bit more
than your average trickster
but a little bit less
than my average best
a sour tongue lemon zest
a speaker
drinking from a plastic beaker.
Ginger ninja bread man
This gingerbread man is ninja
he throws sweet stars and then
he jumps out of windows from tall houses
and lands on his feet and his trousers
are still clean
this ninja ginger bread man is a lean mean fighting machine
because he doesn’t want to get beaten or even worse eaten.
I have a few questions
Do vampires get tooth decay?
Do werewolves get fleas?
Do zombies have to use prosthetic knees?
Do fairy tale princesses always say please?
Can witches have white weddings?
What do mummies have for their bedding?
Do Orcs have to shave?
Do angels ever misbehave?
What is a goblin’s average height?
And do ever they get tall?
Do giants ever start off small?
I’d like to ask these questions
If you have some thoughts or suggestions,
Please get in touch
My address is;
1 The Wizards tower
rainbow close
Fairy land.
Ha 2YU
