In this aching

In this aching

waking dream we live in

I love you is hardest thing to mean

I wait,

but waiting has no solace

my heart I polish for you

but will the stains wash out?

I won’t doubt you are worth it.

Reaching me through the void

and shadows

I cried out to you when they held me down

In the A and E ward I told them who you were

But like big cats don’t always purr

you are something to be worshipped

glorified and feared

If perfect love has no fear

it is love that has been realised

and actualised

I wait in the shadows

dancing in the dark

love is the flames not just the spark

to light my way…

The gobble de gook monster on your shoulder

The gobble de gook monster on your shoulder

do we get wiser when we get older?

I remain stuttering mumbling

my mind rumbling

with thoughts

I can’t actualise or realise

I cannot translate between mind and pen

and even when

I try to speak my tongue drags across the words

like a flat tyre on a bike

I wish this gobble de gook monster would take a hike

but he’s a part of me like the stories I tell

and even hell

is something I can’t be without.

Humanity

People like little rivers and tributaries

flowing to the sea

entwined in words with faces dripping in kisses

but I sometimes wonder about what the eye misses;

contact between humans

sometimes we go bone dry because of the shyness of our eyes

which flow with tears

with our fears

which ravage our souls with plastic aspirations

and metallic and jewelled frustrations

has the black phoned mirror stolen our souls?

Or is the water the constant flow of love enough to water our souls?

My Garden

Tears dry up easily

but my love is still fragility

I tend to my life like a garden

but sometimes you just have to let it grow

even the with the weeds you know aren’t good

life is better when we are understood

and sometimes we have to accept

the trauma that lies dormant

except for times of stress

when it grows nevertheless.

In the end of time

In the fire

the end of time burns

I was the last messenger

I pray that I will hold you when the fire comes.

We slumbered,

out numbered

by those who are asleep

so deep they couldn’t hear

and left over fears

from the last explosion

which began with an emotion

love which burns with hope

I fear the end

but lover time has to bend

and be refashioned

A twisting entity

that eventually brings change

rearrange

the memories.

My search has ended

My search has ended

When two worlds collided

I expected fireworks

but they burn away

Fiz pop and bang

then no longer are a thing.

I love you but colours fade

I love you

my deeper shade my midnight blue

I know this life’s a prison for some

but I love it’s sweet bitter agony

sometimes

it’s the loneliness I hate.