Man Kind?

Man kind?

I have a hard exterior

I feel inferior

I have never heard of unconditional love

conditions have always existed

behave

be good

do what you should.

If only I could

be the person you’d love all the time

and my thoughts were no crime

I am a man

I maybe kind

but suffering is why

because I know I cry

behind the mask

and tasks

are hard if you don’t why you’re different

and love is the only answer but it’s frightening

because it won’t be offered if your strange or different

and this is evident

from what I have experienced.

so I look to myself

for my own mental health

and kindness

to be a loving friend to myself…

My last act

Cut off my sellotaped glasses

staring at asses

of girls I can’t have or marry

carry the child I am into the sham

bury all I am

did I give a damn.

yes yes yes I did…

amid tragic transformation

and a pure imagination

spoilt only by being a man

who cannot understand

the state of this world

So throw my body to the flames

a heart who can’t be tamed

full of tearful shame

and guilt ridden blame

I am the anger inside a coke bottle

shaken with mentos falling inside

afterwards fizzy fallout

I will be spent and full of doubt.

In the end of time

In the fire

the end of time burns

I was the last messenger

I pray that I will hold you when the fire comes.

We slumbered,

out numbered

by those who are asleep

so deep they couldn’t hear

and left over fears

from the last explosion

which began with an emotion

love which burns with hope

I fear the end

but lover time has to bend

and be refashioned

A twisting entity

that eventually brings change

rearrange

the memories.

I can’t be the man you want

No matter how you change the font

words stay the same

I know I am not your type, am I to blame?

I could be made of muscles with six pack and broad shoulder and arms of Steel

but I am not

I could be a scientist with a silver tongue eloquent or just very well hung

I am me there is only one version of myself

I can’t change

or rearrange

I realise my limitations

I won’t be able to perform and act as an imitation

I am who I am

Love me or let me go

for its you I love I know you know!

Boy in the corner

Boy in the corner
stares into space
boy in the corner
falls asleep what a disgrace
it’s school, lesson time
learning about life
Boy in the corner
Don’t you want a job and a wife?

teacher makes fun
boy in the corner
why are you a daydreamer?
or are you just dumb?
everyday there stare through you
you feel numb
sadness is the only way
to live your parents blame you
they blame each other
boy in the corner
you will soon have a sister and brother

Boy in the corner
its time for college
aren’t you glad
boy in the corner you lost your temper are you mad?
The question hangs in the air
boy in the corner
with hell in your head
Boy in the corner
you identify with Jesus but he’s dead

Boy in the corner
Now you’re in handcuffs
You told the police your him
in a police cell causing a din
they gave you your sins
told your sectioned
and need correction

Boy in the corner
taken to psychiatric hospital
in police wagon
facing the dragon that is insanity of life
you don’t want to eat
For fear of the devil inside your mind
Hated by yourself and unkind

The only way out is not believe your own lies
Boy in the corner
You will your right your wrongs
Boy in the corner you are strong
Stay strong in the character you have chosen
your heart is hot not frozen

Boy in the corner you will climb that mountain
Experience that kiss
Love that woman
you will come through this
boy in the corner
Your heart is fierce
boy in the corner
You are man
you will make the haters understand.

The ghost child of the man in the asylum

In side the beaten white walls of an mental institution

where people go to be uprooted from their delusions

Sat a man his hand outstretched as if holding hands with the dark

No spark to light his way, only the tragic marks his way

he used to play childish games by himself

look they say where is his mental health?

has it left him altogether why does his play childish games

he would call a name on the wind

for the child he lost unbeknown to them

Tilly or Matilda the ghost of a child of six

who he held in his arms before he was sick

she swallowed her tongue in an epileptic fit

but before then were eye spy and guessing games

before then were pin the tale on the donkey and blind mans buff

I guess we are all in a way sheltering memories like ghosts

In the places in the heart we hide

which we can never move away from no matter how we stride

or how many steps we take

life is sometimes an evil fate.

Andover ash tree stream

Andover means ash tree stream

The ash tree was said to be the tree of life

we are born from its ashes.

Andover ash trees

Rising from the Ash trees

we are the dust

from those trees

the first man and woman rose from the ashes

maybe we were born in the fires

of dead worlds

every boy and every girl

are Phoenix souls

Live a lifetime in ten minutes 

I sit and think of you
Our dates 
The courting 
the tender kisses
the way you are my Mrs 
Our children and the way they’ve grown
the loneliness of our divorce 
then I realise it’s all my mind
we haven’t even known each other that long
but in my head our connection our bond
makes we want to belong
in your life
even if it’s just fantasy lived in 10 mins
I feel like I could live a lifetime in your eyes
dreaming under starry skies.

The villain

The villain

I am so nasty

people stand aghast

I am so bad

you feel a draft

on a summers day

murderous glances pave the way

I am sick, I am ill

babe with every hero it’s a battle of wills

I am so abrasive

I am like invasive surgery

I am so evil I burn bibles and call it purgatory

the devil herself could learn from me

I want pounds of flesh so burn with me

I am deathly shade

stalking the sun

I am the nightmare

in the night you run

I am evil

I told you to die

but chances are you’re petrified

I am so dishevelled

I make Darth Sidious look sprightly

Sith Lords can’t fight me

With just one flick of my fingers

and death lingers

I am psychologically deranged

so psychopathically strange

you wondered if I was ever sane

I just got back from Frankenstein’s lab

I killed the hulk yes I am that strong and bad

I framed Sherlock Holmes

and made him into an heroin addict

cause all my plays our that strategic

I even cheat death

in fact I own Azrael’s blade

I am villain, the one you crave.