They will bow to your beauty
But they will miss your brilliance
They will worship your curves
But they will curse others
to see only that which they say is skin deep.
You will weep for your wisdom
The fire in your heart
In your veins
It pains me to see you hidden or vilified
Within his story
You are doomed to be perceived as second fiddle
But you gave birth to this universe and you are the riddle
Sophia wisdom is knowledge and power
it is sour milk to men
and when they drink it they cry
For women make this universe
and men who hurt you die
But you hold my cards
and power
and the watcher I have become sits and waits
Watching you hour by hour
Love and wisdom flow
from streams which flow underground
But women who are powerful
Must know that they can change the flow
and sound out
for what is more powerful than a mothers love?
Category Archives: poetry
Dear Diary (warning contains themes of depression and self harm)
Written in creative writing class.
Dear Diary
It’s 3 am and I still can’t sleep,
When I think of the bullies at school I weep.
In creeps the hunger to cut and purge again,
The cut of the knife hurts me, though it focuses the brain.
Droplets of blood drip onto the floor
Dull and red, one blood stain more.
In my heart loneliness slowly kills
Making me feel isolated and numbing my will.
My parents are caught in their own private war,
Unaware of what’s happening behind my bedroom door.
My parents are furious at my falling marks at school,
However they haven’t noticed the cuts on my arms at all.
I am left in this house which feels unsafe and unlike a home.
I panic when I am left to my own devices all alone.
My breaths come fast, uneven and I feel sick,
Sometimes I can’t breathe at all, my heart races too quick.
When I was at primary school I had good friends.
These days I feel let down, they’ve turned out to be dead ends.
It’s a shame they all left me and shot through,
now bullies flock around like vultures picking at all I say and do.
Last Tuesday I bunked school and spent it walking around town
people stared at me, making me feel even more down.
I was feeling as if no one understood
So I went to a river near a wood.
I made for my house when it was time to go home,
but the school had already contacted my Mum by phone
My furious Dad threatened me with grounding.
I said “I don’t care! I like my own surroundings!”
The truth is I don’t want to feel anything anymore,
So I pick up the knife to cut myself some more…
Let’s take you on a tour of the internet
Internet
Let’s take you on a grand googling tour
Into the life of smart phones, computers and more
The web of information, systems and regulations
Starting with google
Let’s type in what we want, to get our hits
Websites appear the top of which are sponsored
Can you believe all the ads?
and yet it demands our attention
Even from our Mums and Dads
News feeds painting a picture of panic
and propaganda
slandering many but keeping our PM
On top by not playing a protest song
Cause it might offend and cause the elite to stop
Their war on the poor and disabled
Even google don’t pay their taxes owed
Digital money bit coin bestowed
The webs currency is content and infrastructure
Let’s worship in the chapel
Of Microchips, Microsoft and apple
Pray to the gods of google
For more celebrity gossip
While the arts is a poor man’s friend.
On the foundation of words
On the foundation of words
We build undeterred
Some need excavation
To gain an explanation
To see their true meaning
Or are we dreaming?
Some words tell fables
Some words are negative labels
We are building on these words
It’s a bit absurd
For what do they really mean?
When one person describes so differently to another
We can build and break people with the words we choose
Give a voice to the voiceless or abuse
A turn of phrase and rhetorical question
Just a suggestion
Be careful which ones you use…
Out pouring
Tears well up in my eyes
I dream of being a bird to fly away
To transform with angels wings
But I have no song to sing
The voice, your voice
Weighs me down
Every day wearing a painful frown
The tears of a clown
Is how my father felt
I knelt and prayed
For it all to go away
But in the cold light of day
Cold reality is that I don’t know
whether any of this is real
Delusions, confusions
Flowing, constant uncertainty
Knowing what you would say
You always say I hate you so much
Pessimism has always been my crutch
I loved you like a songwriter loves his piano
The answer is you don’t give a damn though
You were my muse and I have lost all but your voice
Which torments me in every choice I make
Mighty oaks break, their branches tear and shatter
Do I really matter or are my words just noise that clatter
I thought I once met Jesus on my 16th birthday it was my wish
Can I fish my own soul out of sea
Still I yearn for you girl with many faces
Many expressions but I have spoken to you and you have words so few
I cannot escape all the torment you have put me through
and yet I would move my aching soul and bones
Just to sit and talk to you on your throne.
Borrowed earth
In the dark discarded night
When you wish you still had all your fight
You rest on a tear stained pillow
Outside your house the weeping willow
Kisses the river bed
Shedding it leaves
To those who still believe
In the magic of Mother Nature
We are caught in the rapture
Of our own dreams
Which filled our lives with polluted streams
We are jet black and hollow without nature
We are filled with jet black sorrow for our children’s children
Who cry for the earth which was borrowed and lent
and never meant to be spoiled
By our digital dreams.
In your own words
You are a universe contained in a body
You are a theory
A thought
All you taught yourself
All you’ve written and said
That day you conquered your fear
The tear trickling off your chin
The skin and bone that held together
and yet the words that stayed with a friend
That picked them up off the floor in the end
You are a star in galaxy orbiting
A place inside my heart
The key to memories hidden from view
A hundred thousand moving pictures
The inspiration around a story
Your story begins
In a twinkle of smile that caught your fathers glance
The closeness of bodies that danced
wild and free
You are everything to me and more
and yet you think you are small
Stand tall my friend…
Antithesis
I am the silence when you are talking
When you travel by car I’ll be walking
When you are arguing I’ll be at peace
I’ll be the pages in the book you’ll be the crease
You’ll be the night I’ll be the star
Shining bright from afar
You’ll be the gun I’ll be the bird in flight
That you miss
You’ll be the punch I’ll be the kiss
You’ll be the heartache and I’ll be the bliss
I’ll be the antithesis to your thesis
As we collide in opposites as we attract
We will also repel
Who will win out who can tell
in this black and white world.
Sophia
In the midst of midnight air,
stood a man who didn’t care.
For he was a man who made world’s collide
and every bit of earth bore his stride.
He was the key, the door to realities thick, slick and uncertain
beyond realities curtains
however there was one thing he didn’t have and that was a wife
to free him from his darkness his strife.
He searched in coffee shops and in bars,
he looked for answers in the stars,
until he found his equal a woman beyond others,
Sophia the woman in the fire the object of his desire
her wisdom burned bright forged in fiery Stars of eternal unrest
with a beauty that cant be bested
but his love for her was yet untested.
She told him to win her heart he’d have to become mortal
and so would she for in mortality
you see there are lessons that can be learned.
Her heart burned for him so much in the transition
that it became a birth mark above her chest,
he would have to find her to pass the test.
However when they met for the first time
she had met him in a timeline before,
she warned him of tragedies of a life if he stood alone,
a king with a crown but an empty throne.
Although he hadn’t put it together
what she was meaning that without her he’d be dead
but his mind had a needle but not a thread
and although he had a good heart he was easily led
so at 16 he lost his mind.
Believing in heavenly things rather than science
which all people believed to be true.
Sectioned under the mental health act 1983
Seeing into the distant reality,
he saw a girl lost her mascara ran down her face,
she was a girl who had lost her place in the scheme of life’s dream,
her silence was a scream.
She told him things about his future but as he reached out for her she was taken away
for she was his Sophia and they both were going to pay,
for in making themselves mortal their only way out was to marry or love without doubt.
He had many doubts, that had found their way out and into his life.
While she was trying to save him through many lives lost,he was struggling with his own.
Returning home from the mental hospital he was told his life was a lie
he felt that the only way to heal was to cry
and cry he did amid his friends who lost patience with him in the end.
He could not pretend to be happy, everyday he looked for an answer to his unhappiness,
in fear there is no hope and he became broken.
One day though he was walking down the town he saw a girl she smiled it lit up his day.
So he asked her if it was ok to know her name?
She said it was Grace.
After chatting for awhile she said “you should have a coffee round my place”?
So he said “yes” and popped round there.
Soon after a few weeks he fell in love he felt like it was a answer from the gods of above
but soon doubts crept into his head whether he should settle down or find a career instead or first. He had made his life into a headache a curse
and much more complicated than it should be.
So he broke up with her, it felt like his spur to create the life he dreamed before it was too late.
So he had a car a house but no wife, no spouse.
Meanwhile he missed Grace missed her soft touch her face
after years of working hard, he found a woman crying in a builders yard,
he remembered who she was because of the birthmark above chest
and the smile to which she was blessed.
Grace now old and heartbroken she told him she had many lovers since him but none who could match.
He still loved her so they went to hers.
But that night electrics in the house caught fire there was a fault.
So they both awoke to the smell of burning with a jolt.
He tried to get her out but the place was full of smoke thick and dense.
Now a voice spoke “I am the fire your heart lies with me.
Do you choose to be with Grace and love her avidly or do you choose the path of fear,
to run away and leave her here with me”.
Realising that Grace had passed out,
he lifted her over shoulder as the fire began to get worse he got her out.
But he collapsed a heart attack ripped through his chest,
he died they laid his body to rest.
But as he walked through the white door of heaven .
There stood Grace as Sophia his wife.
Every time you doubted,I lost you,
you see, every time you ran I loved thee,
for you have passed the test.
My muse’s secret poem
The burning poem it’s words burn like flame
I hold it my heart but it burns all the same
I tried ridding myself of the fire
But the flames spoke to me of my muse
Aspiring me to choose
To love and lose the game
Loves painful consequence
My hidden shame
In desperate longing the poem was a light
Showing me a door and a key
Life is nothing with responsibility
In darkness of fragility
I hear a voice beckoning me
To hide my muse’s secret
and yet it flows through me like the fiery flames
I try to retain the pain and burning
My heart is alight with yearning
So with the key I lock the secret poem in a room
It stills burns shining with the truth
Yet I feel I have hidden a fragment of my soul
That still burns to this day out of control.
