When the ghosts of Christmas’s past
won’t go, they just laugh
at all your efforts for this Christmas time
the air freshener scent of pine
won’t hide the smell of sprouts
there is a sense of disbelief and doubt
that Santa’s eaten your mince pies
you are so stressed your eye has a stye
you got put on the naughty list
the mistletoe has run out, so you won’t get kissed
you have a friend who can’t make it who will be missed
when the kids are driving you spare
you have run out of underwear
your socks are more holy than the carols being sung at church
your partner has broke up with you and left you in the lurch
so they don’t have to buy you any presents
you feel like an unlucky pheasant
because the shop assistant is being less than pleasant
remember the year will begin again
and spring time will soon be here.338E4957-BF09-4C53-9D47-412652068159

Drinking games

Jäger bomb scarecrow men
blow out their straw brains with alcohol
It’s just another drinking game
Aren’t you glad you came?
While White Russian dollies
drink from glasses with small cocktail brollies
Hedonistic heathens spreading free love
in the community
Police men paint the town with blue lights
as the fights begin
Another night another day
Hangover grey
Vomit from a kebab to cleanup
Another joyous pissup.