I can’t work out whether I feel upset
that I am alone
or that your heart is not my home
I screamed your name in the hospital
When they held me down
and injected me
Love never happens for me
If I could reach out for your hand
and you accepted my words and deeds
maybe it work out differently
but I am a soldier
I fight with the courage of a lion
or maybe I am still trying.
In the heart aching,shifting
in loves breaking, gifting
In my torn out drifting
of graveyard games
in the Devils tormented names.
Freedoms cut loose
you fight, you don’t fit your obtuse
renegade spitting spirit
Locked out of heaven again
a couple of lovebirds fallen short
In loves painful name calling game
She is a raven
he is a saviour
he is a raven
she is his saviour.
Love can save the boy in his heart
but the warrior enjoys solitude
In the dragon’s cave
can he break her curse
and make it worth
her loving her him
and him loving her.
For we all need to love beyond skin
this aching and burning lies within
You say you are the devil
Is she in your eyes?
Cold like black ice
why did you wound yourself with all those scars?
Did you make a third of the stars fall from the sky?
I want to help you but they take you away
this is a prison not a hospital so you say
you said you possess people, anyone you want
I am stuck with a voice inside my head
is it yours?
I once wanted to escape to heaven
through a back door
if Love is key why can’t I free you from the curse
Love is chains which bind me, grind me down
I want to ask you if I could be your friend but I am a clown
I am the hound which guards your gates
I am Cerberus one head in the past
One in the present who waits
One in who looks to the future and doesn’t hesitate
devil or woman I want you to free
but Love is only real love if we both can free?
Smobie smart phone zombie
the microchips are in your head
Capacitors and now your dead
you grasp a screen
Keep it clean
a terrible truth is it was born from your conscious thought
a terrible butterfly caught from a brain stain retaught
you think in video Facebook spies
the bots in your eyes lie
selfies, selfies, psychosis for wealthy
your addiction became your affliction
and now your dead
save for the Facebook thread
life is your profile lives on
On the internet
where brains always find regret
the path is easily met
fuck is decay
Fuck and mind rape is here to stay
have I said enough
Smart phone zombie you are me I am it
sucking in technologies tits
Thumb wank your way into oblivion
you are thumb without a brain
a technological cum stain…
The aching of a voice
a hollowed out choice
the harrowing of what it says
how it plays out in my head
the reaction makes me hear it more
an un deliberate underscore
the four ways to walk
North south east and west
Even my actions and foot prints talk with her voice
and its tone I hear through the static of like sounding voices
her moan sends shivers down my spine
I hear a different version in the movement of the trees branches
Life dances, and the leaves of the trees say in a Kinetic way I love you
but her voice inside my head says I hate you so much
we hardly ever touched when I knew her
but love is the spur
to touch and talk to her
my Queen, my life,my dream.
The clammer of the overthinking overwhelmed mind
chattering away with itself like a overused hard drive.
Hope, but she is a caged bird waiting for her master
faith but all faith is enslaved in disaster.
A sonnet of despair, a song of solitude
a monologue of filth and the rude
a innocent boy and a prude.
A crazy overbearing self talk squawk
a chalk drawing of heart that’s been erased.
A penis looking up at the sky
A black dog biting its owner
A loner waiting for the strength to cry.
Freedom from attachment
but a wanting to be engaged and attached
Discourse divorced a face scratched.
silence like a scream
a dream turning into a nightmare
a blank stare
a daydream being expelled.
Hell carrying on into a lonely hello
An eye open that cannot be shut
a slut shutdown clown
love becoming only a noun.
Welcome to the strange place that is my mind.
Welcome to my mind