The clammer of the overthinking overwhelmed mind
chattering away with itself like a overused hard drive.
Hope, but she is a caged bird waiting for her master
faith but all faith is enslaved in disaster.
A sonnet of despair, a song of solitude
a monologue of filth and the rude
a innocent boy and a prude.
A crazy overbearing self talk squawk
a chalk drawing of heart that’s been erased.
A penis looking up at the sky
A black dog biting its owner
A loner waiting for the strength to cry.
Freedom from attachment
but a wanting to be engaged and attached
Discourse divorced a face scratched.
silence like a scream
a dream turning into a nightmare
a blank stare
a daydream being expelled.
Hell carrying on into a lonely hello
An eye open that cannot be shut
a slut shutdown clown
love becoming only a noun.
Blood shot eyes
Awake in flashback nightmares
Screaming in silence
Lost in guilt ridden violence
Everyday is a brutal regime
There’s no distinguishing no changing
What I have done
Screaming victims is the war won?
A burning temper
A cold December
I try not to drink.
Realities torment I try not to think
Every time their faces come back to me
I stammer when I talk, I just can’t be
Screaming victim is the war won?
My family tries to support
My ravaged soul
I see the flames
They are burning out if control
In the distance a ray of light
Paralyzed by anxiety
I look to my family
Is the war won?
I am getting beaten
But I won’t back down
I forgive myself
I won’t back away
If there is a god
They’d forgive me I pray
I have let my war fade away…
Let’s take you on a grand googling tour
Into the life of smart phones, computers and more
The web of information, systems and regulations
Starting with google
Let’s type in what we want, to get our hits
Websites appear the top of which are sponsored
Can you believe all the ads?
and yet it demands our attention
Even from our Mums and Dads
News feeds painting a picture of panic
slandering many but keeping our PM
On top by not playing a protest song
Cause it might offend and cause the elite to stop
Their war on the poor and disabled
Even google don’t pay their taxes owed
Digital money bit coin bestowed
The webs currency is content and infrastructure
Let’s worship in the chapel
Of Microchips, Microsoft and apple
Pray to the gods of google
For more celebrity gossip
While the arts is a poor man’s friend.
Open the door to your heart
A world without war
A new start
Where love and oneness are accepted more
Turn the page on your rage
Free us from the cage
Of the minds programming
Which is a failed system
Snatch utopia from the ashes
Of heart shaped gashes
Cuts that bleed
Feed love instead
Grow peace in your head
and like a Phoenix fly
Take that one new breath
and think like you’ve had an epiphany
A realisation reborn into rebirth
Utopia on this earth.
Tears well up in my eyes
I dream of being a bird to fly away
To transform with angels wings
But I have no song to sing
The voice, your voice
Weighs me down
Every day wearing a painful frown
The tears of a clown
Is how my father felt
I knelt and prayed
For it all to go away
But in the cold light of day
Cold reality is that I don’t know
whether any of this is real
Flowing, constant uncertainty
Knowing what you would say
You always say I hate you so much
Pessimism has always been my crutch
I loved you like a songwriter loves his piano
The answer is you don’t give a damn though
You were my muse and I have lost all but your voice
Which torments me in every choice I make
Mighty oaks break, their branches tear and shatter
Do I really matter or are my words just noise that clatter
I thought I once met Jesus on my 16th birthday it was my wish
Can I fish my own soul out of sea
Still I yearn for you girl with many faces
Many expressions but I have spoken to you and you have words so few
I cannot escape all the torment you have put me through
and yet I would move my aching soul and bones
Just to sit and talk to you on your throne.