School to prison train

Welcome aboard the school to prison line

detentions then exclusion

no empathy, no reasons explored

just decided by the school board

No counselling, no mental health help

just bad behaviour labelled

sent to pupil referral unit after an permanent exclusion

no knowledge of what I was suffering at home

my Dad is alcoholic and my Mum and Dad argue and fight all time

I am alone as the TV drones

I don’t want to end up in prison

but life is a schism

of what you’ve been given

and it starts will being labelled thick

a joker, a troublemaker, a prick

and school teachers have no time

to form a relationship with someone who is hard work

and they are told discipline is key and I am a jerk

they won’t reach me if I am in hell of my parents and circumstances making

and it easier to push me out the door

Yesterday the police knocked on my door and my Dad threatened to kick the shit out me if happens again

cause I got into a fight

prison he says is where I am going to end up in if don’t buck up my ideas

but my Dad and Mum are too busy squabbling to see my tears.

I am old school

Listening to tunes on my CD player

I am old school I don’t need to tell yah

dance music on repeat 

the sun is up no need to sleep

drifting in a musical haze

come on life is full of care free days

at least for today

let’s get together 

feel the music flowing through our bodies

oddly enough I have dreamt about adventure 

and dancing care free 

with you is where I want to be.

Dear Diary (warning contains themes of depression and self harm)

Written in creative writing class.

 

Dear Diary

It’s 3 am and I still can’t sleep,
When I think of the bullies at school I weep.
In creeps the hunger to cut and purge again,
The cut of the knife hurts me, though it focuses the brain.
Droplets of blood drip onto the floor
Dull and red, one blood stain more.

In my heart loneliness slowly kills
Making me feel isolated and numbing my will.
My parents are caught in their own private war,
Unaware of what’s happening behind my bedroom door.
My parents are furious at my falling marks at school,
However they haven’t noticed the cuts on my arms at all.

I am left in this house which feels unsafe and unlike a home.
I panic when I am left to my own devices all alone.
My breaths come fast, uneven and I feel sick,
Sometimes I can’t breathe at all, my heart races too quick.
When I was at primary school I had good friends.
These days I feel let down, they’ve turned out to be dead ends.

It’s a shame they all left me and shot through,
now bullies flock around like vultures picking at all I say and do.
Last Tuesday I bunked school and spent it walking around town
people stared at me, making me feel even more down.
I was feeling as if no one understood
So I went to a river near a wood.

I made for my house when it was time to go home,
but the school had already contacted my Mum by phone
My furious Dad threatened me with grounding.
I said “I don’t care! I like my own surroundings!”
The truth is I don’t want to feel anything anymore,
So I pick up the knife to cut myself some more…

 

Anthony

Anthony
My imaginary friend or ghost

of a little boy

Who had one eye green and one eye blue

Taken into special needs, not knowing why not having a clue.

He asked me whether I could bring him back 

To life as the teacher watched on 

no one could see him, what was wrong?

I used to get ribbed by friends until he disappeared 

One day here, one day gone

No goodbyes where’s Anthony the strange ferret like little boy

I was moved to the class the year below 

Soon I moved up again to my original class but no Anthony no lonely hello.