Hallucinations

Hallucinations in my mind

carelessly unkind

stories in time

lies told

the truth smeared like ink

the pen tangled with delusions

confusing skin

I close my mind you enter in

the night howls

I cower

hour by hour

will the sky fall

I dream for us all

or it seems that way

I hallucinate a story

I cannot tell

my own personal hell

and yet heaven resides in there as well.

Truth and life

Sadness doesn’t stain skin

or truth pierce a heart

but I reckon you will feel sadness is life’s art

and contrasting happiness

although not merely pain alleviated

I meditate,

I mediate

between the angel

we try to be

and the devil

who’s eyes we see in the mirror

the constant battle

between letting go

and belonging to the life you know.

All we needed was love

You ask the devil why she can’t save the world

the silence is wounding.

It betrays

slays the meaning,

driven home.

Is god into much of a coma

to answer from his throne?

Alexandria defender of man

The woman who said she was the devil

Who won’t reveal her pain

Only the scars on her wrist

All you needed to save the world was love

Like the scars told me.

god dies

Sectioned and arrested for telling the police you thought you were Jesus Christ

life is mad no need to look twice

god dies at 16 without a wife

he kills himself in metaphorical death

living his life as someone else bereft

Of the life he should of led

why do anything dead body but be what’s left?

the only difference between god and devil, is choice?

left alone with a shadow self’s caged voice

life hits like a tidal wave

and it’s a close shave

that no one can save

I am the choice the blade

cutting myself to fit in

rubbing out what I have written

Equally cursed as blessed

the rule of three undressed.

and under stress.

This poem was written from experience of mental illness and psychosis. I believe as pieces of this kaleidoscopic universe we our all God or gods and goddesses in our own right. That may put me at odds with science but that’s what I believe that we are the universe experiencing itself in various depths and levels.

You believe heaven’s a heart beat away

Oh you believe heaven is a heart beat away

It floats away like a summers day

all entrances fade to grey

all your dreams turn to night

you gave away all your sadness it turned to madness and fright

bleeding affray, in moons sight

wolves are wolves

but even they bask under the moons glow

you believe your dreams aren’t hollow

but how many lives must you lead

to know heaven is here it’s every story told

you play a character, you are freedoms child.

The girl with many faces do you want me?

They held me down in the hospital

I screamed your name I as the needle punctured my skin

sedated

All I wanted was love

but the angels don’t answer

they just sleep

even the demons weep

is the price too steep?

I broke into house just to talk to one of your many faces

When life is a bruised fruit

do you have the roots

like a tree to rescue me?

heaven is sunlights kiss

but I am in the dark

Our divine spark is pain.

Movement

To continue we go

to continue to know

we must blow

the air to breathe

to believe

depression holding us back

the semi colon

but we thirst to move track

like trains on the railway

we must make our own way

forever in transit

and transformation

there are never enough homes

or railway stations

never enough elation

clever metaphors steal admiration

I love all the movement the sensations.