The haunted man

The haunted man

Haunted by your voice
your smile, your eyes
love doesn’t come easy it’s no surprise
but if I try to court others
I will always compare them to you
I swear to you I can’t
it may link to my delusions
and there is no exact solution
except you being with me
but our story is with me.

I plough on
strength through love I am strong
but my first lesson from my uncle
was that life’s not fair
I only know that I care
for in a story love is the only treasure
it is gold
I won’t let my love for you waste away or grow cold
Because princess 6
I can’t love anyone else
some animals mate for life
at least I was your friend
but in the end the eternity ring
was not enough to keep you with me
but I still love you and can’t get you out of my head
Love is the colour it’s blood red.

The fight for sanity

Dead Gods statues crack eroded by time
I am your nightmare
tears form a weapon
they threaten
to never stop
I am your communion a blood for wine
Liquid divine
we feed on Jesus
whether your faith or mine
Its based on a fallen world
How long have we been in servitude
To a god who puts apples on trees
Then tells us not to eat
I will wage a war on idolatry
our reality is love and light
But we are engaged in a fight
for our sanity.

Peaceful river

Peaceful river flowing free
collected together by tributaries
I am a river we are the sea
we are all memories.

Peaceful river rains collected in a river bed
We are the words collected and said
shaping the land around
with indents of smiles
traveling together for miles

Peaceful river animals coming to drink
do you ever stop to think
and take a moment
to think about life’s dream?
what makes you you and me me
do you open your eyes to actually see
life beautifully displayed

Peaceful river fish swim
we watch them jumping
games and sports blood pumping
boats traveling up and down
and all around
trees with birds nest
the days we spend carelessly are the best.

Dear Diary (warning contains themes of depression and self harm)

Written in creative writing class.

 

Dear Diary

It’s 3 am and I still can’t sleep,
When I think of the bullies at school I weep.
In creeps the hunger to cut and purge again,
The cut of the knife hurts me, though it focuses the brain.
Droplets of blood drip onto the floor
Dull and red, one blood stain more.

In my heart loneliness slowly kills
Making me feel isolated and numbing my will.
My parents are caught in their own private war,
Unaware of what’s happening behind my bedroom door.
My parents are furious at my falling marks at school,
However they haven’t noticed the cuts on my arms at all.

I am left in this house which feels unsafe and unlike a home.
I panic when I am left to my own devices all alone.
My breaths come fast, uneven and I feel sick,
Sometimes I can’t breathe at all, my heart races too quick.
When I was at primary school I had good friends.
These days I feel let down, they’ve turned out to be dead ends.

It’s a shame they all left me and shot through,
now bullies flock around like vultures picking at all I say and do.
Last Tuesday I bunked school and spent it walking around town
people stared at me, making me feel even more down.
I was feeling as if no one understood
So I went to a river near a wood.

I made for my house when it was time to go home,
but the school had already contacted my Mum by phone
My furious Dad threatened me with grounding.
I said “I don’t care! I like my own surroundings!”
The truth is I don’t want to feel anything anymore,
So I pick up the knife to cut myself some more…