Chemical lobotomy

Inside therapy if I ever had

an answer to a life so sad

in the mirror cold to the touch

we clutch at straws, we miss so much

I am your answer for now

chemicals causing balance

but still the illness wakes

shakes in answer to the sadness

which I cannot shake

I am the mist the fog

of depression

the court is in session

and I see chemicals

a prescription

an covert addiction.

When having someone to talk

to in the early days

May have prevented my fear and depressed ways.

There are no Hollywood endings

I am sending you my hopes and prayers

but I swear there will be no Hollywood endings

I am sending you my dreams and aspirations

born of perspiration

and tears

But there are no fairy tales here.

Set sail for distant lands

But it’s all just dust and sand

I know there is magic I heard it on the freezing breeze

in the coughs of old men

but life can’t give you a happy ending

you have to find it yourself

and accept it for what it is…

Hallucinations

Hallucinations in my mind

carelessly unkind

stories in time

lies told

the truth smeared like ink

the pen tangled with delusions

confusing skin

I close my mind you enter in

the night howls

I cower

hour by hour

will the sky fall

I dream for us all

or it seems that way

I hallucinate a story

I cannot tell

my own personal hell

and yet heaven resides in there as well.

Truth and life

Sadness doesn’t stain skin

or truth pierce a heart

but I reckon you will feel sadness is life’s art

and contrasting happiness

although not merely pain alleviated

I meditate,

I mediate

between the angel

we try to be

and the devil

who’s eyes we see in the mirror

the constant battle

between letting go

and belonging to the life you know.

Live a lifetime in ten minutes 

I sit and think of you
Our dates 
The courting 
the tender kisses
the way you are my Mrs 
Our children and the way they’ve grown
the loneliness of our divorce 
then I realise it’s all my mind
we haven’t even known each other that long
but in my head our connection our bond
makes we want to belong
in your life
even if it’s just fantasy lived in 10 mins
I feel like I could live a lifetime in your eyes
dreaming under starry skies.

The girl with many faces do you want me?

They held me down in the hospital

I screamed your name I as the needle punctured my skin

sedated

All I wanted was love

but the angels don’t answer

they just sleep

even the demons weep

is the price too steep?

I broke into house just to talk to one of your many faces

When life is a bruised fruit

do you have the roots

like a tree to rescue me?

heaven is sunlights kiss

but I am in the dark

Our divine spark is pain.

Heart or Hope

Hope speaks

yet my heart feels

tears flow down my cheek

at least I am real

Hope or heart

to feel the pain

Or to look for the sunshine in the rain

Faking smiles

In rooftop terraces

the Ferris wheel of life

let me go off to murder my strife

A vacation for frustration

My heart is black hole

longing and empty, wilful and bold

Hope is bird singing in a distant cage

a heart is strange thing to age

with my ageing heart

I give you my wisdom and advice

but you won’t see the payment I made

the cut and paste words that shade

and shadow this page

the one I didn’t say which are hidden

But pave the way

Heart or hope

I cope and live for brighter days

when sunlight pours onto this desperate stage.

We are slaves or wolves without teeth

They have enslaved us

We may curse and we may cuss
distrust our leaders
we must not bite the hand that feeds us
but our hands bleed
we are wolves without teeth
belief, in brighter days
made us slaves
the light which is ours anyway
Austerity just another sickness
of the state
Gives rise to division and hate
we are all to busy fighting for existence
to seek a better system
or resist them
So the rich get richer
and the poor live by the wire
from Theresa May to Boris Johnson you are all liars
We don’t believe in socialism or looking after the defenceless
It’s tribalism that’s too expensive
we need to move from leaders to people
to save our planet
but damn it
we are too busy infighting
So what do we do
move to other throw
or make the system work
It’s in your hands the future is work
that pays off
and doesn’t enslave
and that saves the environment and Gaia
do we want to end in nuclear fire
ruled by psychopathic liars.

Destroy your roots

Destroy your roots

I am drug that turns on you

that burns you away

as you burn it away.

I am the family you never had

no father.

Just your mother on another planet

she made her career her aim

the lessons in school teaching just blame

I am the church of vampires

who feed off of religion

and superstition

they teach guilt

to the hilt of sword

they wilt words

of love that were meant

and taint the truth

that was heaven sent

I am the college you tried

your peers pried

into your life like gossip

now you try to fit in

but they’ve already written

your story

So beat your roots

stand tall

life maybe governed by walls

but we can still climb over

luck is not just governed by four leafed clovers

to be the change you want see

you have to change your view

set your sights on what you want

if can’t change the words

change the font

at least make your life pretty

all rewrite your story

Be the path out of the ordinary.