Heaven is heart ache
just beating in my chest
At least it’s still there
It gives me no rest.
I turned down a goddess in her underwear
just so I could play saviour
all my dreams made of paper
nightmares paper cuts
doomed to hear the words of sluts
Starving just to lap up leftovers up
I dream of being a hero
but I am fascinated by the villainess
the heroine is too much of a drug
I slug it out with my mind but depression is a thug
dominating my ever move
I love to dance but my song isn’t my groove
Boy in the corner
stares into space
boy in the corner
falls asleep what a disgrace
it’s school, lesson time
learning about life
Boy in the corner
Don’t you want a job and a wife?
teacher makes fun
boy in the corner
why are you a daydreamer?
or are you just dumb?
everyday there stare through you
you feel numb
sadness is the only way
to live your parents blame you
they blame each other
boy in the corner
you will soon have a sister and brother
Boy in the corner
its time for college
aren’t you glad
boy in the corner you lost your temper are you mad?
The question hangs in the air
boy in the corner
with hell in your head
Boy in the corner
you identify with Jesus but he’s dead
Boy in the corner
Now you’re in handcuffs
You told the police your him
in a police cell causing a din
they gave you your sins
told your sectioned
and need correction
Boy in the corner
taken to psychiatric hospital
in police wagon
facing the dragon that is insanity of life
you don’t want to eat
For fear of the devil inside your mind
Hated by yourself and unkind
The only way out is not believe your own lies
Boy in the corner
You will your right your wrongs
Boy in the corner you are strong
Stay strong in the character you have chosen
your heart is hot not frozen
Boy in the corner you will climb that mountain
Experience that kiss
Love that woman
you will come through this
boy in the corner
Your heart is fierce
boy in the corner
You are man
you will make the haters understand.
In the midst of pain
lies love
that shields us
it sustains our hopes and dreams
it doesn’t silence sadness
but let’s us open up
we all drink from a cup of love
even if sometimes feels
like it’s a small fairy cup
we won’t give up our longing
for people and places
faces that smile warmth
even in the darkest of stories
love shines through
it gives us happiness sometimes
and gives us unwavering faith to keep going
the seed of our growth
bitterness and hatred
aren’t the abating of love
they are merely the twisted distortions
of love
and if we understood that
we would once again understand
that love can save us all just reach out your hand.
It tares apart like paper
born from a saviour’s verse
The devil doesn’t mind, she makes it worse
I collect the curses
I recycle them like newspaper
rhetorical rhymes
in my life of grime.
I shine like the steeple of church
but I’d rather be the birch the trunk of a tree
for this a goddess induced reality
Wisdom causing minds full of incoherent clarity
I lose my faith wandering in garden labyrinths
the chances are we won’t find the goddess or her nymphs
or there chalices in the angles or angel absinthe
that we drink or think outside our boxes
so neat we feel no feeling in our defeat
yet we drink it all down
like sad pathetic clowns
in the pubs wearing our overalls and scrubbing away.
Polishing our lamps just to find genies or djinn
in our lives that our extraordinary and full of sin
yet we all fall beneath the skin
the earth full of mud and shit
the page half written is full of it
yet it feeds us and bears fruit
forms the roots of all we cultivate
for man is no man unless he has a little hate
and enough love to permeate
his sad heart
beating in tune to the bleeding womb
he wants to enter
another grand venture
trying to give his child
the wisdom of being wild
and free while they try to chain his children
with the care they placed on his shoulders
I love you Atlas don’t get tired
Or older the love that beats in your soul
don’t let the fire get colder…
Loneliness the beast feeds on my confidence
until all have is insanity
I will hold it back with words driven home with meaning
maybe I will be dreaming
a better a life
maybe I am reaping what I have sown
but I will not believe in fear I love myself and own all I am
I am the shadow and the light
and I will fight until my hands wither
and I grow faint
I will ignore the loneliness and it’s taint.
Police tape around skate parks
the way we avoided each other even before it got dark.
the panic buying of toilet rolls
The dull days inside, just one stroll allowed
the clapping for the nhs workers outside
the way the community came together
Somethings we should treasure
The video calling and time spent playing PlayStation games
The constant news feed and shaming of people who weren’t isolating
The time spent within our houses grating
cause of the sun shine outside
but we are still alive
we will fight on regardless…
Sitting in the darkness of my nan’s cupboard under the stairs talking to god
an odd little boy
Who wanted his dreams to matter
Who wanted them to be true
I needed love but I need my beliefs to be real too.
my life’s foundations aren’t love as they ought to be
but wanting to have a special relationship with the creating force or spiritual entity
or maybe to be special or chosen myself
I am the monster who daydreamed blue skies
but when the light in my eyes dies
who will I be?
the man with tears in his eyes for all he let go
the man with tears in his eyes because he never got to let his heart show
someone that they mattered above all
my heart was always a shield or a wall.,,
The damned wait for another day
to bleed all their cares away
we use hope like a light to brighten our path
but the only aftermath is frustration
we rise with the morning sun
ink our phrases on to paper
or write them on peoples Facebook walls
with our psycho babbling scrawl
we wait for the day we feel good
we should seize it all
the bad days and good if only we could
accept life’s miracles and teaching
I could be preaching
to the damned
but all I am
is a soul
burning out of control
like a seraphim
an angel watching in the dark
my soul giving off its divine spark.
Bleeding on the pavement
feral enslavement
light bringer
Who are you the king of?
tears in tear ducts
love is sometimes not giving a fuck
what people think
drink
drink in the silence
hear he voice again
the pain you feel
just the passage way of time
you were once her light that shined.
Of all the things that sting
is that I know your future life
It grates to know that I wait
for this is my last one
I am overcome with sadness I am undone
as we talk at cross purposes
What loneliness and hurt this is
I promised you that I’d wait for ever as your best friend
but love shatters like glass in the end
You are my mirror…