Prison of loneliness

From the lake of fire

to the snake of desire

I am lonely.

Hell is carrying around loneliness with you

it grows out of all perspective

it grows with you

it starts with a child’s heart

of wanting acceptance and love

people’s love

then it turns into anger and rage

that you cannot have those connections you yearn for

that you burn for

in later life

a maddened heart torn apart of the fear

that you will never see one person from one day to next to make meaningful conversation

that ache in your heart becomes more than a sensation

You learn that your needs won’t ever be met

that life has caught you in its net

But you are forever alone.

No one knows what you go through

in truth even if they saw your entire life

their perspective wouldn’t change

or see yours, isn’t it strange?

to be cast adrift in world that promises much

and delivers very little

hearts grow cold and brittle

and they break in many ways

Not just in half in the centre

you may plan your ventures

you may look for adventure

but your only friend is you

and love is only love if that’s the truth

School to prison train

Welcome aboard the school to prison line

detentions then exclusion

no empathy, no reasons explored

just decided by the school board

No counselling, no mental health help

just bad behaviour labelled

sent to pupil referral unit after an permanent exclusion

no knowledge of what I was suffering at home

my Dad is alcoholic and my Mum and Dad argue and fight all time

I am alone as the TV drones

I don’t want to end up in prison

but life is a schism

of what you’ve been given

and it starts will being labelled thick

a joker, a troublemaker, a prick

and school teachers have no time

to form a relationship with someone who is hard work

and they are told discipline is key and I am a jerk

they won’t reach me if I am in hell of my parents and circumstances making

and it easier to push me out the door

Yesterday the police knocked on my door and my Dad threatened to kick the shit out me if happens again

cause I got into a fight

prison he says is where I am going to end up in if don’t buck up my ideas

but my Dad and Mum are too busy squabbling to see my tears.