Sometimes

Sometimes

The world goes on behind my window

I stare out into the suns glare

I wrap myself around my thoughts

and all that I have sought

do I still care?

Sometimes

I am broken beggar

trying to get a leg up

sometimes I want to say

words of meaning

am I still dreaming?

Sometimes

my hearts soft like paper

sometimes it’s hard like a diamond

fashioned with pressure and heat

sometimes I play my songs on repeat

hoping to make my way to someone’s smile on the street.

Sometimes

I bow to the dark

sometimes I look to the stars sparkling in the sky

sometimes I want to die

but I realise life is short

and I love my friends to much to make this life end

so my epitaph will say I loved until my world drifted away

but I left you my words and that’s more than ok.

You can’t imagine the things I have seen

You can’t imagine my dreams

you can’t think like me in every way

I am unique, I pave the way

I maybe distant

sometimes obtuse

I sometimes let loose

my fears and anger prangs

like a car hitting a wall

but I hold as much truth as you all

See I am schizophrenic

I hear voices

But don’t despair

I see choices

they hang in the air

I have been broken

I don’t expect you to always care

I doggedly battle on

Cause I still know right from wrong

even with whispers and shouts in my mind

I fight to be human and to be kind

Though I suffer with paranoia

the darkness which destroys

I love life enough to stay here and not be destroyed

so don’t have pity

Let me speak and write and sing

because I know sadness is a painful muse

but creativity is my thing.

God the Insurance Salesman

Yeah they hate you if you show them no love
yeah berate you if you say you’re sent from above
I cannot prove my stories, my history
but if don’t believe in feelings you won’t believe in any mysteries.

I didn’t come here with complex equations
I didn’t come here to rule nations
I just came here to bring love and sell insurance
I don’t care if your heart is pure
I just want you to believe in more

That love goes beyond good and evil
It is the creative force that informs all
The storm that breaks the trees branches
gives the rain that waters it’s saplings

I cannot teach you how to learn
how to feel
but the chances are you know love is real.

Alienpoet

I come from a lost home

I come from

A lost home

my psychosis at 16

two years of hell

Dad and mum threw me out

My roots broken

Then Living in hostel

With Creaking fire safe doors

council estate yellow bricks and concrete

Dirty mirky stained glass windows

looking out on the world

Not a church

where I would fashion ideals

But a place I could be at peace and reshape my soul

Even in a place which had a

scent of old burnt out cigarettes

Smokey stained furniture

like an old fashioned bed and breakfast

The kitchen smelt of convenience.

Packs of chicken and beef super noodles

Boiling in a pan.

This is where freedom started

Hope in the darkness

Grey days but sometimes occasional sun

Dance music blaring from my boom box

a CD player in my room

chemical brothers basement jaxx tracks

Paper and pen

Penning poems

finding myself

I still loved a girl called Becky

who didn’t love me

I gave up,drinking as my mental health was suffering

Giving up the poison

for my own piece of mind.

I have a few questions

Do vampires get tooth decay?

Do werewolves get fleas?

Do zombies have to use prosthetic knees?

Do fairy tale princesses always say please?

Can witches have white weddings?

What do mummies have for their bedding?

Do Orcs have to shave?

Do angels ever misbehave?

What is a goblin’s average height?

And do ever they get tall?

Do giants ever start off small?

I’d like to ask these questions

If you have some thoughts or suggestions,

Please get in touch

My address is;

1 The Wizards tower

rainbow close

Fairy land.

Ha 2YU

Skin Remembers

Scars won’t forget

Living life with habits and daily regrets

I lost you in the sands of time

only your voice remembered

like the days tender sunlit kiss

but my television brain won’t remember this

that it came to an end before it started

and those days are long time departed

the spark in my heart

won’t leave

this aches longing to breathe

but I cannot deceive myself in to thinking

we were anything but just friends

the hour grows late, I just pretend

I can’t send you that last message

that says this ends

because your voice haunts me

you are my tattoo, my scar.

The grail

Old bones

ancient thrones

no where to sit

I write thrift shop poetry

so I can be with you

forgive you

for writing graffiti all over my wall

some beggars stand tall

amidst the rubble

some people like power, I admit it’s trouble

I want to set sail

find the holy grail

but she’s already found

I want to sing songs make sounds

I want to kiss her pursed lips

but mad quips make me a fool

I just drool

but pennies fall down wishing wells

I yearn for her voice it’s all I hear

but in the door way to other worlds

I may find her

or a kinder version

it’s the waters the cup of immersion.

Always Start with hope

when you begin your journey,

start with hope

when you build your castle,

start with hope

when you plant your tree,

start with hope

though the night may draw in

and you may lose sometimes

and bruise your skin

remember that hope

and don’t cave in

when you’re at a disadvantage

like when I was born with blue feet with the chord wrapped around my neck

when people said I’d never amount to anything

because they respected my mental health diagnosis more than me

they didn’t see the hope inside my heart

start with hope

that’s the only way

to fight on in darkest of days.