In this aching
waking dream we live in
I love you is hardest thing to mean
but waiting has no solace
my heart I polish for you
but will the stains wash out?
I won’t doubt you are worth it.
Reaching me through the void
I cried out to you when they held me down
In the A and E ward I told them who you were
But like big cats don’t always purr
you are something to be worshipped
glorified and feared
If perfect love has no fear
it is love that has been realised
I wait in the shadows
dancing in the dark
love is the flames not just the spark
to light my way…
People like little rivers and tributaries
flowing to the sea
entwined in words with faces dripping in kisses
but I sometimes wonder about what the eye misses;
contact between humans
sometimes we go bone dry because of the shyness of our eyes
which flow with tears
with our fears
which ravage our souls with plastic aspirations
and metallic and jewelled frustrations
has the black phoned mirror stolen our souls?
Or is the water the constant flow of love enough to water our souls?
Tears dry up easily
but my love is still fragility
I tend to my life like a garden
but sometimes you just have to let it grow
even the with the weeds you know aren’t good
life is better when we are understood
and sometimes we have to accept
the trauma that lies dormant
except for times of stress
when it grows nevertheless.
My search has ended
When two worlds collided
I expected fireworks
but they burn away
Fiz pop and bang
then no longer are a thing.
I love you but colours fade
I love you
my deeper shade my midnight blue
I know this life’s a prison for some
but I love it’s sweet bitter agony
it’s the loneliness I hate.
Butterfly wings of impossible things
wings are broken
tangled with a form
after a swarm
born from the caterpillar
which melts away
after eating a vast amount of leaves
It’s reborn, form breathes
breaks free of the chrysalis of time
Here’s a hand here’s a slap
here’s life without a map
parents too busy discuss
never mind get to know their children and trust in them
stem the flow.
I was raised by cartoon heroes
and superhero shows
and the games I played
sonic on the mega drive I never strayed
from their ideals
but my happiness was stolen
by those who created my tears
I missed out on my parents knowing what I could have been if they had of listened through the years.
turn the page before it burns away
cinders, words charred
Life is fire or is that an illusion?
Love the unquenchable desire
to form flame
to gather that person’s many names
and love them all
Ashes to ashes dust to dust
The ash forms a tree
Yggdrasil the ash tree of life
Forming us anew
The flames that burn in me and you
“Are you the light?
or are you the moon reflecting it?”
I want to be the light,
but does light swallow the darkness?
Or burnt it away?
I don’t want to be fearful
I want to be amazing
Lighting the sky
like a star.
Seen to be a good person near and far
maybe not the brightest star
but one who endures
and shines enough for sailors to plot a course
to go home.
Who gave you the glints in your eyes
the tints of blue skies
the angels couldn’t shroud your beautiful soul
I often take strolls
but doll your soul is gold
I am often left with fire when I reminisce
we never kissed
I made a promise like a watcher in the dark
your smile lights my way like a spark.
Hanging on the cross
collecting the dross
on the doss
of having a soul
what are we but clay pots collecting water?
no we are more and always have been
the views we have seen
the rhythms from the heart
the frequencies of our words
the skies, the birds
the moaning of love making
cell division shaking
like salt dissolving in water
and yet we are sons and daughters
trying to identify with our identities
yet eventually returning to the soul we came from
our bodies returning to dust
but our soul remains
in the Everglades.