The Grail

The Queen of cups 

stands at the door way to this life

holds a sword of power and might

angels wings and long flowing blue dress

a goddess of wisdom, beauty 

and unrest 

she waits for her knight 

the bravest man of this world 

to free her and her children from this mortal coil 

of reincarnation and rebirth

Her softness not slight of hand 

but the courage of being resolute 

with all that she understands

the man who holds her favour 

a wounded knight 

but one who defends her with all his fight

tempered by fire like a diamond shining bright

but the moons glow hides him from sight 

in the cold pale night

he lives without her until he can prove 

that the cosmic chess game has no more moves 

but stalemate 

His mind may be brave but it does saturate 

with insanity 

but she bears with him until he inhales all of his fear and calamities 

and exhales hope and freedom from those worries and tears from his humanity 

no illusion will shatter his will 

no matter how vulnerable he becomes 

He will grasp her hand still

and understand her virtues

through dark times when he would question his allegiances

and his promise that he made her

no trickster no hidden dragon will make him fall from grace 

he only wishes to be with her and see her smiling face.

Dear Jeremy Clarkson

Dear Jeremy Clarkson

This is my letter for showing myself to be thankful for being on benefits 

First of all I’d like to thank the DWP 

for making it so easy to claim 

It really really isn’t degrading or a pain 

supplying copious amounts of evidence 

Or getting my friends to help fill out forms every few years for health conditions that don’t go away or can’t be cured. 

Society its self doesn’t add stigma or prejudice or pressure or any way to claim these monetary benefits.

I love being supported and in no way does it induce any fearful reaction or discomfort or distraction to see articles such as yours Jeremy. It feels great to be treated like a scrounger who is undeserving of a life of disability.

Yes I do have abilities that are prized by society. And have protested against cuts to Pip and other benefits. Which the people of this land of course understand how hard they are to claim. Sometimes PIP is the only thing that allows people who are disabled the adaptions and ability to work.

On a personal note I hear voices and have to mask my autism on a daily basis. I feel my life isn’t worth it sometimes. But I do like to grovel to people like you. Who did it your way and didn’t have to deal with the same situation as mine. 

I know you shine like a beacon to all of those who are not as deserving as yourself.

Yes I have fallen on hard times since 16 and have tried to work part time.

I know society doesn’t make it feel like a crime to live with my struggles. I know in this life so many care about my plight. And know the reality of my fight and struggle.

But when we the disabled people have been forced to live on the streets or are put into institutions and workhouses because of the grace of people like you. And you become disabled yourself and need help which is unlikely I do agree. Maybe you will see life isn’t as easy as you make out.

So thank you to the unpaid carers who support people in my situation. 

Thank you to the NHS staff who or anyone who is kind and willing to help.

Thank you to all the people who improve my quality of life by reading my poetry and writing which is an out let for my dark feelings and thoughts when I am caught feeling melancholic and suicidal. You are all stars shining your bright light on my life.

There’s nothing natural about this love

We breathe smiles and similarly we simmer

In summer heat 

play plastic Spotify tunes on repeat 

there’s nothing natural about this love

we hear those songs in sugar, in saccharine smiles all the while telling ourselves it’s love 

we bleed deep, weep, scream in our voices 

in our souls for love

manufactured and distracted by love

to feel love but it’s over engineered 

fanatical sycophants 

who pant and swoon

but this love is more in line with the tomb 

There’s nothing natural about this love

that has to be earned burned in our hearts. 

real love just is it’s more natural than nature 

and it is love

flowing free

not a trap for you and me 

The price of the future

Exist in the existential 

the crisis governed by tech giants and moguls 

quantum computing 

rooting for data 

Something that hates you and 

our essence 

more despised than a unlucky pheasant 

about to be killed

we are the working class poor and disabled 

checkmated in the game and despised because we are mentally ill

In the wrong way 

depressed and anxious 

rather than Sadomasochists with a superficial superiority complex 

who sit with the latest tech 

in their mansions 

taking their chances all too soon

from us and causing us gloom

entering our digital tomb

where there’s no room

for our slave driven mindset ways

other than to serve the corporations and billionaires 

the ones who say empathy is death and decay 

and pray for our demise

hit with no surprise 

this is the price we pay 

for our dystopian future 

no one wants 

hidden by computer fonts 

and AI

our overlords

who hoard wealth and knowledge like weapons

and fuck us with digital strap ons.

I stand with the misfits

I stand with the misfits 

All the ones from broken homes

the ones who are single and left alone

the ones deemed special

and yet not treated as treasure 

I stand with the poets and artists observers of life

Picking muses that will never be there wives or partners 

I am disheartened 

But I will stand with those that give and never receive 

those who believe 

that giving their hearts and time is important 

and worth their reason and rhyme 

and weight of time

there’s a special kind of heaven awaiting these people who need healing 

I like to believe 

May they find their Elysium fields 

where they will be met 

without any painful regrets 

Family tree

You were born from a tree

Family,

Branches dances

Haunted by love

bearing fruit 

with roots 

in the darkness of the ground

We’ve waited for the leaves to grow 

from sapling relationships 

to the rain that drips 

onto your trunk

I am my grandads whistling tunes

My grandmas stitches and knitted fate 

My uncles smile

my aunts stern determination 

my own righteous indignation 

and individuality

Those contrasts sought through things that our missing

two lovers kissing 

married through the rings of time kept with the trunk of the family tree

from the care sown

all saplings are grown 

And given light if we talk through our roots 

and fungal connections and collective consciousness 

we are all

everywhere everything at once!

In the beginning there was Mind

In the beginning 

There’s was mind

then there were thoughts

written in time

We were twin flames 

I was your first word 

you are my soul 

I come from you

as we all do 

Soul spirit and happenings

became time

you Alice Sophia holiest of spirits

are my reason and rhyme

thoughts and souls entwined 

We are one torn in two

I love you more than you think I do

I want to take you home

where we can roam free

But the fire waits for you and me

One last test to be free…

Darkness turning into light

Darkness turning into light

my fright turning into fight

all sadness I restrained

turned into love

my eyes focused on her

my picture on the wall

a flower opening her petals like wings 

begins to make me sing 

I know my true foes are triumph and disaster 

both are foolish things to master

I am time 

the fading 

into blades of grass

then emerging into the everlasting 

I am cast into the fiery furnaces of hell

tempered by water the river banks swell 

the steel of sword that comes out my mouth

Will protect the people I love

but sometimes will fly away like doves

and the bullets fired 

Will miss

and we will kiss them away

with words that heal

and reveal

hidden truths

like super sleuths

and detectives

that are respected.