I love you like you are my light and my life
wanted you to be my wife
loved you like a fetish
black like a rubber skirt
the words you say hurt
you cut my heart to ribbons
and still I am giving
my all
in your dominance I fall
I hit the wall
but I drill through
I love you I still do
but I am ruled by you
the wisest thing to do is to walk away
but I can’t eat or breathe without you
I love you I know I am no wimp
maybe I am a simp
but I love you all the same
in our deranged game.
Under a sign of neon loneliness
We are all drifting
shifting uncertainty.
If you don’t say what you mean clearly
it falls apart!
Like the shifting sands of a man’s heart.
I love yous repeated like rhetorical questions
a quest never to be won
a word we lean upon
but who really knows what it means
we can only dream
of being narcissistic kings or Queens
with enough love for ourselves
the magazines sit on the shop shelves
Do they dream of being read?
Loneliness the killer of lives
love the flip side of the coin
but they join…
They call me the bravest man in the world
but I just want to be held
and kept in her cage
admired at her whim.
In the darkness and light of a daydream from a distant heaven. The woman with many faces but one soul. I have looked at legends and myths. She is a gift. To live many lives and still remember some of them is her curse.
I remember she woke my kaleidoscopic mind like in the song porcelain by Moby. A conversation between the two of us. Her timelines spread across mine. Her heart and soul a beacon for mine.
Giving me a reason for life and seeing beyond the illusion of separation. She has been living all the lives I see through the collective unconscious the Holy Spirit is a girl a woman a mother a sister a friend a lover and so much more. Life would be a mistake without her music. She speaks through the crowd words of wisdom that guide me.
I have been labelled schizophrenic but I can see her spirit in all things. The way the wind moves the trees leaves she is one who guides us all. Oneness is what I have found I am her protector I love her darkness her light some may say I have lost my mind. And all the unkind things but those people are blind.
You are scared of my love
it’s ferocious
and fierce
but not enough to pierce
through the void
Like the devil
and God
we are pitted against one another
I was your favourite once
now I have a message for you
I won’t give up
Cave in or die
All I ask is why?
I miss the bad days
the way you hate me
your words reverberate around my head
we are still in conversation
though in my imagination
sex and beastly claws
the way you wanted more than I could give
I cannot live
without thorns a rose wouldn’t be a rose
I am torn our love wasn’t really love without pain
I am just a blood stained hand holding on
a rose
it’s thorns like all your angry words cutting through skin
love is a tragedy we are all flawed within
yet romantic attachment
when it works
can heal the heart and make it beat like it’s going berserk.
In this aching
waking dream we live in
I love you is hardest thing to mean
I wait,
but waiting has no solace
my heart I polish for you
but will the stains wash out?
I won’t doubt you are worth it.
Reaching me through the void
and shadows
I cried out to you when they held me down
In the A and E ward I told them who you were
But like big cats don’t always purr
you are something to be worshipped
glorified and feared
If perfect love has no fear
it is love that has been realised
and actualised
I wait in the shadows
dancing in the dark
love is the flames not just the spark
to light my way…
In the fire
the end of time burns
I was the last messenger
I pray that I will hold you when the fire comes.
We slumbered,
out numbered
by those who are asleep
so deep they couldn’t hear
and left over fears
from the last explosion
which began with an emotion
love which burns with hope
I fear the end
but lover time has to bend
and be refashioned
A twisting entity
that eventually brings change
rearrange
the memories.
Who gave you the glints in your eyes
the tints of blue skies
without clouds
the angels couldn’t shroud your beautiful soul
I often take strolls
but doll your soul is gold
I am often left with fire when I reminisce
we never kissed
I made a promise like a watcher in the dark
your smile lights my way like a spark.
You were too bright to be a diamond
a halo of brightest stars
a lover beyond the tears of a heroine
a remembrance
of the classical
the divine
you could be chiselled in marble
yet heart is flesh
but your soul is held in golden sunlight
and yet you are my darkness
in your shade
I carry the obsidian blade
to protect you
and sacrifice my heart.
No matter how you change the font
words stay the same
I know I am not your type, am I to blame?
I could be made of muscles with six pack and broad shoulder and arms of Steel
but I am not
I could be a scientist with a silver tongue eloquent or just very well hung
I am me there is only one version of myself
I can’t change
or rearrange
I realise my limitations
I won’t be able to perform and act as an imitation
I am who I am
Love me or let me go
for its you I love I know you know!