In every woman’s face I see her face
and her many ages
In magazine covers
I see her in my minds eye with her lovers
I wanted to be hers
but that train was missed
and its engine purrs as it moves further and further away.
no more to be brighten my day
I am just observer
a poet a writer
Looking for her in everyone woman
I want her to be free and loved
but I miss her like a lost glove needs a hand
I don’t know wether anyone understands
Her smile lights up any room
her absence sets up my gloom.
In the beginning
There’s was mind
then there were thoughts
written in time
We were twin flames
I was your first word
you are my soul
I come from you
as we all do
Soul spirit and happenings
became time
you Alice Sophia holiest of spirits
are my reason and rhyme
thoughts and souls entwined
We are one torn in two
I love you more than you think I do
I want to take you home
where we can roam free
But the fire waits for you and me
One last test to be free…
The burning flames of sacrifice
the aching waking torment
that grows ever more evident
The pain of attraction that won’t relent
her smiling eyes
used to be yours
now whatever her flaws you can’t move on
the darkest night of the soul
Burns in pain in an insane world
the desperate search for water in the desert
when dehydration kicks in
the way you sicken for one morsel of food
from a heavenly table
every bone aching to see her again
just to hear her words
but the sky the birds are bereft
she has left
and stolen your love as well
in this hell which could have been heaven
but the hours too late
it’s way past 11
and all you have is a voice in your head
is it her’s?
But it purrs like love and hate
and there’s no solace in waiting
hating,
the space between our worlds
which barely touched and existed.
Chained through your timelines
you say release you from the curse
the curse of loving me.
I know the bite of your mouth
the viscous vicious nature of your tongue
We both see things from only our point of view
a blood red hue.
You try to reach me through the crowd
Sometimes I hear you loud
and sometimes you whisper
like the wind
This is my curse to know the truth
while in denial
there is no proof
I fight a desperate battle to be heard
maybe you will one day.
In the overtones of songs are the echoes of the promise we made
over every grass blade
our delirium
our love
our blood song curse
we are chained to the words we have said
they flow in our veins
I am your twin flame but we are caught in tragedy
separated
by lies
and our clones who stand as jealous spies
You are the light in my eyes
the only one.
I love you like you are my light and my life
wanted you to be my wife
loved you like a fetish
black like a rubber skirt
the words you say hurt
you cut my heart to ribbons
and still I am giving
my all
in your dominance I fall
I hit the wall
but I drill through
I love you I still do
but I am ruled by you
the wisest thing to do is to walk away
but I can’t eat or breathe without you
I love you I know I am no wimp
maybe I am a simp
but I love you all the same
in our deranged game.
In your eyes the tragic reminder
that memories fade
into the void
and get destroyed
I loved you more than my heart conveyed
though time is a blade
it cuts out the good and bad
memories or leaves scars
the stars that aligned
now fate has mined
and we with left separated when we should have been entwined.
I miss the bad days
the way you hate me
your words reverberate around my head
we are still in conversation
though in my imagination
sex and beastly claws
the way you wanted more than I could give
I cannot live
without thorns a rose wouldn’t be a rose
I am torn our love wasn’t really love without pain
I am just a blood stained hand holding on
a rose
it’s thorns like all your angry words cutting through skin
love is a tragedy we are all flawed within
yet romantic attachment
when it works
can heal the heart and make it beat like it’s going berserk.
All that remains
is the pain of knowing…
There’s magic in your skin
I want to hold you
my cold, bold heart wants to grasp
your hand
make you understand.
We are possessed by a spirit and it’s yours
for there is no cure for love
except drowning in it.
I ate an apple it reminded me of the sinners tale
but love in a garden cannot fail
if talk and walk again together
I know that the illusion of separation can be severed.
I come from
A lost home
my psychosis at 16
two years of hell
Dad and mum threw me out
My roots broken
Then Living in hostel
With Creaking fire safe doors
council estate yellow bricks and concrete
Dirty mirky stained glass windows
looking out on the world
Not a church
where I would fashion ideals
But a place I could be at peace and reshape my soul
Even in a place which had a
scent of old burnt out cigarettes
Smokey stained furniture
like an old fashioned bed and breakfast
The kitchen smelt of convenience.
Packs of chicken and beef super noodles
Boiling in a pan.
This is where freedom started
Hope in the darkness
Grey days but sometimes occasional sun
Dance music blaring from my boom box
a CD player in my room
chemical brothers basement jaxx tracks
Paper and pen
Penning poems
finding myself
I still loved a girl called Becky
who didn’t love me
I gave up,drinking as my mental health was suffering
Giving up the poison
for my own piece of mind.