I love your darkness and your light

I love your darkness and your light

I love your eyes your sight

Dreaming dreams showing how to fight 

a single parent battle 

rattling the cage on the stage of life

getting through having a good time

you have left me behind

But I wish you well.

There is too much hell in my thoughts

too much insanity I have been caught

I thought about us together too much

pessimism and thoughtfulness are a crutch

I miss your smile your light

but without darkness the light wouldn’t have room to shine

I would send you lines

of poetry 

you are the name of nobility 

you won’t mix

shadows can’t be fixed

I would love your naked soul

but my heart bleeds my innocence away

but there is too much left

bereft of you 

fitted out without a clue 

If I’d loved both of us more 

I would have set the fire free

but it is your soul who has my key

Your heart is not my home

I can’t work out whether I feel upset
that I am alone
or that your heart is not my home

I screamed your name in the hospital
When they held me down
and injected me

Love never happens for me

If I could reach out for your hand
and you accepted my words and deeds

maybe it work out differently

but I am a soldier
I fight with the courage of a lion
or maybe I am still trying.

Out pouring

Tears well up in my eyes
I dream of being a bird to fly away
To transform with angels wings
But I have no song to sing
The voice, your voice
Weighs me down
Every day wearing a painful frown
The tears of a clown
Is how my father felt
I knelt and prayed
For it all to go away
But in the cold light of day
Cold reality is that I don’t know
whether any of this is real
Delusions, confusions
Flowing, constant uncertainty
Knowing what you would say
You always say I hate you so much
Pessimism has always been my crutch
I loved you like a songwriter loves his piano
The answer is you don’t give a damn though
You were my muse and I have lost all but your voice
Which torments me in every choice I make
Mighty oaks break, their branches tear and shatter
Do I really matter or are my words just noise that clatter
I thought I once met Jesus on my 16th birthday it was my wish
Can I fish my own soul out of sea
Still I yearn for you girl with many faces
Many expressions but I have spoken to you and you have words so few
I cannot escape all the torment you have put me through
and yet I would move my aching soul and bones
Just to sit and talk to you on your throne.