In this aching

In this aching

waking dream we live in

I love you is hardest thing to mean

I wait,

but waiting has no solace

my heart I polish for you

but will the stains wash out?

I won’t doubt you are worth it.

Reaching me through the void

and shadows

I cried out to you when they held me down

In the A and E ward I told them who you were

But like big cats don’t always purr

you are something to be worshipped

glorified and feared

If perfect love has no fear

it is love that has been realised

and actualised

I wait in the shadows

dancing in the dark

love is the flames not just the spark

to light my way…

Be the light

“Are you the light?
or are you the moon reflecting it?”

I want to be the light,
but does light swallow the darkness?
Or burnt it away?

I don’t want to be fearful
I want to be amazing
Lighting the sky
like a star.

Seen to be a good person near and far
maybe not the brightest star
but one who endures
and shines enough for sailors to plot a course
to go home.

If God could answer

Hanging on the cross

collecting the dross

on the doss

the dole,

of having a soul

what are we but clay pots collecting water?

no we are more and always have been

the views we have seen

the rhythms from the heart

the frequencies of our words

the skies, the birds

the moaning of love making

cell division shaking

through separation

like salt dissolving in water

and yet we are sons and daughters

trying to identify with our identities

yet eventually returning to the soul we came from

our bodies returning to dust

but our soul remains

in the Everglades.

If humanity stood for kindness

If humanity stood for kindness

not for the awful blindness of thinking they were better

if love entered our hearts and we wrote love letters to the earth

in the form of actions and weren’t distracted

and cursed.

then I wouldn’t be a Poet against humanity

I wouldn’t ask questions about our collective sanity

I’d only ask for love and peace

for life is unfair but we are beasts.

If we evolve into beings of light

then we must ask ourselves to fight

for to preserve justice

for that is humanities only hope.

Disability

Tired in the daytime after having a good nights rest

being tested all the time by voices which are more than a pest

depressions iron curtains are coming down again

I am in the Misty mountains of pain which I climb daily

and my assailant is attacking me with delusions and fearful paranoia

I think the only hope is to battle with things that can destroy yah

I can sometimes withstand

But the terrible gravity of situation is hard for me to even understand…

The great reset?

The great reset

Another life that we regret

internet slaves

Jesus saves?

not when we entered into a user agreement

we didn’t read

life bleeds mini micro chips

and the rich

have globalised our living rooms

with listening devices

they have loaded dice

playing with our lives as toys

Whether we are scared little boys

or frightened little girls

ours is our world to lose

frightened to lose or drop our black mirrors

and life is losing freedom enough to cause shivers

while A.I sizes us all up

and drink from the cup

of internet fake news

while we are all enslaved

and nature is destroyed In the smog

of our tortured histories.

Schizophrenia

This dreaming is dark

But I won’t lose my spark

sanity is a perspective

I don’t stand for the collective

the curtains I sit behind are walls

the fractured voice of someone I love calls

and tells me she hates and berates me

in the darkness of my mind

her unkindness

blinds me.

Binds me to the certainty that life is unfair

will it ever be repaired?

The stigma attached to me lies

the fire in my heart won’t die

and maybe I enlightened or frightened

of this form

since I was a daydreamer, after I was born

the storm of intrusive thoughts

the delusions in which I am caught

and I will argue that the stories I tell myself are yours too

you just aren’t boogie man blue

You think we are different

I am just medicated and irreverent

to this constructed reality

which you think is concrete

but where angels fear to tread I won’t retreat..,

Lockdown loner

Alone in all this

is a devil’s deathly kiss

the silence is terrible

this isn’t bliss

it’s the opposite.

The composition

of terrible dreams,

yearning for vaccines

and cures

longing to be with her.

But knowing silence won’t speak

and won’t brush the tears of my cheek

my only way out round my Dads

But we are all sad

separation

saps us and our frustration

talks in to us in the dark

and nightmares come to claim our spark

the uncertainty makes its mark

and the only joy I can gain

Is giving Christmas presents in my pain

to children I hope I will make feel better

and the light of their smiles will free me

and will feed more than Christmas food.

I can’t get to the bottom of what you’re saying

Words spraying what do they mean?

gangrene, rotted and green

toxic enough to poison my world

never mind the vaccine that makes me hurl

These words confuse

your newspapers rhetorical vitriol

leave us uninformed

just mind control

pathogens of lies

and opinions

get into all our sinews

flesh and brains

our soul is stained

I can’t find the truth

it’s been tipp-exed over

I can’t find the real story

who’s the true victor

when we all suffer

the only answer is they’ve built a buffer

between rich and poor

but as the earth dies

Life dies and so do we all.