In this aching

In this aching

waking dream we live in

I love you is hardest thing to mean

I wait,

but waiting has no solace

my heart I polish for you

but will the stains wash out?

I won’t doubt you are worth it.

Reaching me through the void

and shadows

I cried out to you when they held me down

In the A and E ward I told them who you were

But like big cats don’t always purr

you are something to be worshipped

glorified and feared

If perfect love has no fear

it is love that has been realised

and actualised

I wait in the shadows

dancing in the dark

love is the flames not just the spark

to light my way…

Humanity

People like little rivers and tributaries

flowing to the sea

entwined in words with faces dripping in kisses

but I sometimes wonder about what the eye misses;

contact between humans

sometimes we go bone dry because of the shyness of our eyes

which flow with tears

with our fears

which ravage our souls with plastic aspirations

and metallic and jewelled frustrations

has the black phoned mirror stolen our souls?

Or is the water the constant flow of love enough to water our souls?

My Garden

Tears dry up easily

but my love is still fragility

I tend to my life like a garden

but sometimes you just have to let it grow

even the with the weeds you know aren’t good

life is better when we are understood

and sometimes we have to accept

the trauma that lies dormant

except for times of stress

when it grows nevertheless.

Fire burns

Fire burns

turn the page before it burns away

cinders, words charred

Stars burn

Nuclear fusion

Life is fire or is that an illusion?

Love the unquenchable desire

to form flame

to gather that person’s many names

and love them all

Ashes to ashes dust to dust

The ash forms a tree

Yggdrasil the ash tree of life

Forming us anew

The flames that burn in me and you

Who gave you back your swagger, mcjagger

Who gave you the glints in your eyes

the tints of blue skies

without clouds

the angels couldn’t shroud your beautiful soul

I often take strolls

but doll your soul is gold

I am often left with fire when I reminisce

we never kissed

I made a promise like a watcher in the dark

your smile lights my way like a spark.

If God could answer

Hanging on the cross

collecting the dross

on the doss

the dole,

of having a soul

what are we but clay pots collecting water?

no we are more and always have been

the views we have seen

the rhythms from the heart

the frequencies of our words

the skies, the birds

the moaning of love making

cell division shaking

through separation

like salt dissolving in water

and yet we are sons and daughters

trying to identify with our identities

yet eventually returning to the soul we came from

our bodies returning to dust

but our soul remains

in the Everglades.

You were too bright to be a diamond

You were too bright to be a diamond

a halo of brightest stars

a lover beyond the tears of a heroine

a remembrance

of the classical

the divine

you could be chiselled in marble

yet heart is flesh

but your soul is held in golden sunlight

and yet you are my darkness

in your shade

I carry the obsidian blade

to protect you

and sacrifice my heart.

I can’t be the man you want

No matter how you change the font

words stay the same

I know I am not your type, am I to blame?

I could be made of muscles with six pack and broad shoulder and arms of Steel

but I am not

I could be a scientist with a silver tongue eloquent or just very well hung

I am me there is only one version of myself

I can’t change

or rearrange

I realise my limitations

I won’t be able to perform and act as an imitation

I am who I am

Love me or let me go

for its you I love I know you know!

If I wasn’t depressed

I’d launch myself across the room

to collide with your lips

put my hands around your waist your hips

If I wasn’t depressed

I enjoy the simple things

a paper crown would make me feel like a king

I’d wrap up myself with smiles

I’d dress with style

if I wasn’t depressed I’d sing

songs wild and free

life would be love and not the sting

Of fear.