Heaven is heartache

Heaven is heart ache

just beating in my chest

At least it’s still there

It gives me no rest.

I turned down a goddess in her underwear

just so I could play saviour

all my dreams made of paper

nightmares paper cuts

doomed to hear the words of sluts

Starving just to lap up leftovers up

I dream of being a hero

but I am fascinated by the villainess

the heroine is too much of a drug

I slug it out with my mind but depression is a thug

dominating my ever move

I love to dance but my song isn’t my groove

The four corners of a page

The forgotten rage

the tenderness of a kiss

all get written on these blank pages

the journal I write

to set my emotions a light

epiphanies and realisations

new sensations

became metaphors

that open doors

similes that create smiles with ease

I am the pen tangled with the page

I am the rhymes written to take to the stage

and music arrives

to create vibes raps and hip hop

don’t stop

write and keep writing

the only way from here

is the place we touch in our minds eye

the soul is wet and it’s ink

let’s sink further still

for we have the will

to be better

love letters

to our creativity.

Love in the midst of pain

In the midst of pain

lies love

that shields us

it sustains our hopes and dreams

it doesn’t silence sadness

but let’s us open up

we all drink from a cup of love

even if sometimes feels

like it’s a small fairy cup

we won’t give up our longing

for people and places

faces that smile warmth

even in the darkest of stories

love shines through

it gives us happiness sometimes

and gives us unwavering faith to keep going

the seed of our growth

bitterness and hatred

aren’t the abating of love

they are merely the twisted distortions

of love

and if we understood that

we would once again understand

that love can save us all just reach out your hand.

There are galaxies inside of me

There are galaxies inside of me

waiting to be explored

there are stories to be told that leave you wanting more

that are religions in the chaos of my mind

but am I blind to all the possibilities

Fed by science’s facts

the love in my heart set on targets I will never reach

the knowledge I will never preach

the words I won’t speak

but I am the madness

the chaos the light the order the darkness

I am the shadow of a prophet a wizard’s fairy tale…

Atlas

It tares apart like paper
born from a saviour’s verse
The devil doesn’t mind, she makes it worse
I collect the curses
I recycle them like newspaper
rhetorical rhymes
in my life of grime.

I shine like the steeple of church
but I’d rather be the birch the trunk of a tree
for this a goddess induced reality
Wisdom causing minds full of incoherent clarity
I lose my faith wandering in garden labyrinths
the chances are we won’t find the goddess or her nymphs
or there chalices in the angles or angel absinthe
that we drink or think outside our boxes
so neat we feel no feeling in our defeat
yet we drink it all down
like sad pathetic clowns
in the pubs wearing our overalls and scrubbing away.

Polishing our lamps just to find genies or djinn
in our lives that our extraordinary and full of sin
yet we all fall beneath the skin
the earth full of mud and shit
the page half written is full of it
yet it feeds us and bears fruit
forms the roots of all we cultivate
for man is no man unless he has a little hate
and enough love to permeate
his sad heart
beating in tune to the bleeding womb
he wants to enter
another grand venture
trying to give his child
the wisdom of being wild
and free while they try to chain his children
with the care they placed on his shoulders
I love you Atlas don’t get tired
Or older the love that beats in your soul
don’t let the fire get colder…

I realised my truth

Sitting in the darkness of my nan’s cupboard under the stairs talking to god

an odd little boy

Who wanted his dreams to matter

Who wanted them to be true

I needed love but I need my beliefs to be real too.

my life’s foundations aren’t love as they ought to be

but wanting to have a special relationship with the creating force or spiritual entity

or maybe to be special or chosen myself

I am the monster who daydreamed blue skies

but when the light in my eyes dies

who will I be?

the man with tears in his eyes for all he let go

the man with tears in his eyes because he never got to let his heart show

someone that they mattered above all

my heart was always a shield or a wall.,,

Your skin is like a sweet wrapper

Glowing golden

Shiny packet

you are a devilish racket

I love your curves

how your body swerves

with angles

I love your words your advertising

you are my angel

my demon

I am possessed by my possession

your body is a sweet wrapper

I love you

Sticky and gooey

Your soul and mine

entwined.

Waiting for the girl in the fire

I have tried to keep my promises

I have tried to keep my vows

I have tried to keep my actions

I have tried to keep my course locked on you

I have held your voice in my head

when will it be my turn to save you instead

you the woman in the flames

on a throne of white light

I am desperate to fight

for the right to hold you in my arms

When will we speak with tongues unguarded

by the rules they have written

we all mean something to one another

Sisters and brothers

you are the word of love in my mouth

the song in my heart

you are the mornings light

the birds dancing mid flight

You told me you’d need me in the future

The flames descend from the sky

I am you and you are me

Yin and yang’s everlasting embrace

I know our soul cannot just die.

Mum

Your kind words guide me, your gentle hands wipe away my tears

you fight fiercely to protect me from all my fears

You are my mother the one who brought me into the world

No one can break the bond we have

Even through the bittersweet memories

and the many roles you fulfil

you looked after me through the many times I was ill

and I am a reflection of all the love you have shown

You were my only friend in times when I was alone

You encouraged me when I felt like breaking

you took me places to see the world and you made me awaken

You still tell stories and give me words to tell

Mum in my heart you will always have a space to dwell

You lighten the weight on my shoulders

You make me feel as if I can take on anything now I am older

Mum you are the one who has time for me even when life is cluttered full

you gave my life more joy than I can ever appreciate still.