The world goes on behind my window
I stare out into the suns glare
I wrap myself around my thoughts
and all that I have sought
do I still care?
I am broken beggar
trying to get a leg up
sometimes I want to say
words of meaning
am I still dreaming?
my hearts soft like paper
sometimes it’s hard like a diamond
fashioned with pressure and heat
sometimes I play my songs on repeat
hoping to make my way to someone’s smile on the street.
I bow to the dark
sometimes I look to the stars sparkling in the sky
sometimes I want to die
but I realise life is short
and I love my friends to much to make this life end
so my epitaph will say I loved until my world drifted away
but I left you my words and that’s more than ok.
Loneliness the beast feeds on my confidence
until all have is insanity
I will hold it back with words driven home with meaning
maybe I will be dreaming
a better a life
maybe I am reaping what I have sown
but I will not believe in fear I love myself and own all I am
I am the shadow and the light
and I will fight until my hands wither
and I grow faint
I will ignore the loneliness and it’s taint.
Sitting in the darkness of my nan’s cupboard under the stairs talking to god
an odd little boy
Who wanted his dreams to matter
Who wanted them to be true
I needed love but I need my beliefs to be real too.
my life’s foundations aren’t love as they ought to be
but wanting to have a special relationship with the creating force or spiritual entity
or maybe to be special or chosen myself
I am the monster who daydreamed blue skies
but when the light in my eyes dies
who will I be?
the man with tears in his eyes for all he let go
the man with tears in his eyes because he never got to let his heart show
someone that they mattered above all
my heart was always a shield or a wall.,,
They held me down in the hospital
I screamed your name I as the needle punctured my skin
All I wanted was love
but the angels don’t answer
they just sleep
even the demons weep
is the price too steep?
I broke into house just to talk to one of your many faces
When life is a bruised fruit
do you have the roots
like a tree to rescue me?
heaven is sunlights kiss
but I am in the dark
Our divine spark is pain.
they said she would hold your heart
in the deepest darkest part of her soul
her love for you burning like a curse out of control
but they lied or was it fate
because love is hate
war is peace
and you are still free
but dumb in this land of the glum
A setting sun wanting to be her equal
by the quill you write with
you fight with
you love her with respect
does she respect you?
for you were her favourite
where you depraved right?
To turn and walk and away
when she seeks other men to kiss on her pillow
you are just a weeping willow
she cries on
a somber song she lives on
But when is all said and done
you fight for her when the worlds unfair and wrong
you are her strength
the love given that makes her strong
and when she finally sees
the forest from the trees
will you guide her
keep her stride
for you and her make world collide.
The hero is known as the villain
Schizophrenia is chilling
in my mind
unkind thoughts strain
hurt by incandescent pain
A voice that chains my soul
yet in the distant soul an angel calls me
the only way I can get to you is time
and living out this life of madness and grime
The radio booms on speakers
it’s enough to wake the dead
zombies re attach their heads
ghosts clammer for attention.
What’s this dissenting dismal story
breaking from the ordinary
it must be the radio news.
This towns a ghost town and we are out of sight
dead ravens take flight
like they have been reanimated by Edgar Allen Poe
the word nevermore repeated.
Disco lights dance in the dusty ghostly radio station studio
the presenter moves his skeletal hand
and slides the controls to the peak setting.
his voice a long forgotten recording
playing jingles old songs and adverts
for a town where no one is around…
Rain falling on the decomposing leaves
cold autumn air breathed in warm lungs
the wind blows muttering ghost stories
into our ears.
Pumpkins carved into wickedly twisted smiles
we dress up for Halloween discos and parties with style
gathering sweets as we go
while the full moon glows
Bonfires built as we wait for the 5th of November
when fireworks will explode and sparkle in the night sky
we remember the gun powder plot
as we toast marshmallows on the bonfire.
You are darkness
but there are stars shining in that darkness
the night gives the stars room to shine
and heaven is a heart that mines
all the diamonds in the sky
for us when we die
you cannot have the light without the dark
you cannot have light without a spark
which illuminates the dense darkness of night
we gravitate towards the light
we need it’s warmth like a beacon
otherwise we weaken
but the dark is place of growth also
and we grow in the dark towards the light.
I love your darkness and your light
I love your eyes your sight
Dreaming dreams showing how to fight
a single parent battle
rattling the cage on the stage of life
getting through having a good time
you have left me behind
But I wish you well.
There is too much hell in my thoughts
too much insanity I have been caught
I thought about us together too much
pessimism and thoughtfulness are a crutch
I miss your smile your light
but without darkness the light wouldn’t have room to shine
I would send you lines
you are the name of nobility
you won’t mix
shadows can’t be fixed
I would love your naked soul
but my heart bleeds my innocence away
but there is too much left
bereft of you
fitted out without a clue
If I’d loved both of us more
I would have set the fire free
but it is your soul who has my key