Sometimes

Sometimes

The world goes on behind my window

I stare out into the suns glare

I wrap myself around my thoughts

and all that I have sought

do I still care?

Sometimes

I am broken beggar

trying to get a leg up

sometimes I want to say

words of meaning

am I still dreaming?

Sometimes

my hearts soft like paper

sometimes it’s hard like a diamond

fashioned with pressure and heat

sometimes I play my songs on repeat

hoping to make my way to someone’s smile on the street.

Sometimes

I bow to the dark

sometimes I look to the stars sparkling in the sky

sometimes I want to die

but I realise life is short

and I love my friends to much to make this life end

so my epitaph will say I loved until my world drifted away

but I left you my words and that’s more than ok.

Loneliness the beast of burden

Loneliness the beast feeds on my confidence

until all have is insanity

I will hold it back with words driven home with meaning

maybe I will be dreaming

a better a life

maybe I am reaping what I have sown

but I will not believe in fear I love myself and own all I am

I am the shadow and the light

and I will fight until my hands wither

and I grow faint

I will ignore the loneliness and it’s taint.

I realised my truth

Sitting in the darkness of my nan’s cupboard under the stairs talking to god

an odd little boy

Who wanted his dreams to matter

Who wanted them to be true

I needed love but I need my beliefs to be real too.

my life’s foundations aren’t love as they ought to be

but wanting to have a special relationship with the creating force or spiritual entity

or maybe to be special or chosen myself

I am the monster who daydreamed blue skies

but when the light in my eyes dies

who will I be?

the man with tears in his eyes for all he let go

the man with tears in his eyes because he never got to let his heart show

someone that they mattered above all

my heart was always a shield or a wall.,,

The girl with many faces do you want me?

They held me down in the hospital

I screamed your name I as the needle punctured my skin

sedated

All I wanted was love

but the angels don’t answer

they just sleep

even the demons weep

is the price too steep?

I broke into house just to talk to one of your many faces

When life is a bruised fruit

do you have the roots

like a tree to rescue me?

heaven is sunlights kiss

but I am in the dark

Our divine spark is pain.

Your Angel

they said she would hold your heart

in the deepest darkest part of her soul

her love for you burning like a curse out of control

but they lied or was it fate

because love is hate

war is peace

and you are still free

but dumb in this land of the glum

A setting sun wanting to be her equal

by the quill you write with

you fight with

you love her with respect

does she respect you?

for you were her favourite

where you depraved right?

To turn and walk and away

when she seeks other men to kiss on her pillow

you are just a weeping willow

she cries on

a somber song she lives on

But when is all said and done

you fight for her when the worlds unfair and wrong

you are her strength

the love given that makes her strong

and when she finally sees

the forest from the trees

will you guide her

keep her stride

for you and her make world collide.

The hero is known as the villain

The hero is known as the villain

Schizophrenia is chilling

in my mind

unkind thoughts strain

hurt by incandescent pain

A voice that chains my soul

yet in the distant soul an angel calls me

the only way I can get to you is time

and living out this life of madness and grime

Ghost FM

The radio booms on speakers

it’s enough to wake the dead

zombies re attach their heads

ghosts clammer for attention.

What’s this dissenting dismal story

breaking from the ordinary

it must be the radio news.

This towns a ghost town and we are out of sight

dead ravens take flight

like they have been reanimated by Edgar Allen Poe

the word nevermore repeated.

Disco lights dance in the dusty ghostly radio station studio

the presenter moves his skeletal hand

and slides the controls to the peak setting.

his voice a long forgotten recording

playing jingles old songs and adverts

for a town where no one is around…

Ghost stories

Rain falling on the decomposing leaves
cold autumn air breathed in warm lungs
the wind blows muttering ghost stories
into our ears.

Pumpkins carved into wickedly twisted smiles
we dress up for Halloween discos and parties with style
gathering sweets as we go
while the full moon glows

Bonfires built as we wait for the 5th of November 
when fireworks will explode and sparkle in the night sky
we remember the gun powder plot 
as we toast marshmallows on the bonfire.

You are darkness

You are darkness

but there are stars shining in that darkness

the night gives the stars room to shine

and heaven is a heart that mines

all the diamonds in the sky

for us when we die

you cannot have the light without the dark

you cannot have light without a spark

which illuminates the dense darkness of night

we gravitate towards the light

we need it’s warmth like a beacon

otherwise we weaken

but the dark is place of growth also

and we grow in the dark towards the light.

I love your darkness and your light

I love your darkness and your light

I love your eyes your sight

Dreaming dreams showing how to fight 

a single parent battle 

rattling the cage on the stage of life

getting through having a good time

you have left me behind

But I wish you well.

There is too much hell in my thoughts

too much insanity I have been caught

I thought about us together too much

pessimism and thoughtfulness are a crutch

I miss your smile your light

but without darkness the light wouldn’t have room to shine

I would send you lines

of poetry 

you are the name of nobility 

you won’t mix

shadows can’t be fixed

I would love your naked soul

but my heart bleeds my innocence away

but there is too much left

bereft of you 

fitted out without a clue 

If I’d loved both of us more 

I would have set the fire free

but it is your soul who has my key