War on myself (reverse poem try number 2)

In the war on myself

Its my dreams that matter

compassion is a choice

I choose to believe or is it that a lie?

In my 30 years or so of life has always been a battle

But my dreams matter

and that “Once upon a time” is a land where my heart exists

But unless I grasp at my ideals I will never reveal

What people think of me

I do love me

In the future I will still take myself to task

It will be clear that I may fail

only fools presume I don’t have the strength to go on.

NOW READ BOTTOM TO TOP.

There are no Hollywood endings

I am sending you my hopes and prayers

but I swear there will be no Hollywood endings

I am sending you my dreams and aspirations

born of perspiration

and tears

But there are no fairy tales here.

Set sail for distant lands

But it’s all just dust and sand

I know there is magic I heard it on the freezing breeze

in the coughs of old men

but life can’t give you a happy ending

you have to find it yourself

and accept it for what it is…

My guide

My guide

I know you won’t believe me.

I know you probably won’t see things from my point of view

I know your heart is beating faster than freight train

but I am you.

As the universe divides and fragments

I can see things that were meant and never meant

that were and never were

in your eyes,

the dreaming of starry skies

the Sunday morning rainbows

the sun that glows

the words permeating your story’s pages with ink

the way we sunk and sink

into grasping the everlasting

you by no means are not a failure

you are the sea the ship I sail on and yeah

I know it’s a sea of salty tears

blown by the winds of love and overblown fears

but you are my guide

a force I cannot hide

as I take my strides

you are my power of three

and my truth I long to see.

Hallucinations

Hallucinations in my mind

carelessly unkind

stories in time

lies told

the truth smeared like ink

the pen tangled with delusions

confusing skin

I close my mind you enter in

the night howls

I cower

hour by hour

will the sky fall

I dream for us all

or it seems that way

I hallucinate a story

I cannot tell

my own personal hell

and yet heaven resides in there as well.

Truth and life

Sadness doesn’t stain skin

or truth pierce a heart

but I reckon you will feel sadness is life’s art

and contrasting happiness

although not merely pain alleviated

I meditate,

I mediate

between the angel

we try to be

and the devil

who’s eyes we see in the mirror

the constant battle

between letting go

and belonging to the life you know.

Do I really like poetry

Do I really like poetry?

Do I like the words, the rhythms

the meanings driven

up the motorways of life?

the cars spilling out pollution

the arguments with the wife

do I like the metaphors and similes

that are born from revelations and strife?

I like lyrics

Lyrically well placed

we played puns

heart strings strummed

I like the cadence of thoughts

the odd political retaught

the answers to the universe that fit on a postcard

and s-t-r-e-t-c-h

Across the forest of pines

but I want to find the answers that are mine

that is why I write

to set my own page alight

with my own theories

I must never become too weary

world worn

I answer your lies with a word storm

and the words become me.

Change your fate

Suicide an shiny empty packet

War on the poor and disabled the governments criminal racket

What we leave behind only pollution

Only distortion

Only a walking abortion

Change your ways and your fate

Don’t give way to hate

Stand firm

We are not worms food

Don’t regret your life in any form

You were given a life from when you were born

Not empty

Or tragic

Give birth to magic

In this pen tangle

Create an angel

Out of the ashes

Of heart shaped gashes

Love is the twin sister of hate

and the dark is to light

Learn to master the fight

and hate inaction

Be the master of action

Leave the page full of words

and the sky full of birds

Which nest in the tree

We have grown

Don’t die alone…