The hooks of the mind
can be unkind
they get caught in the past
in happy go lucky memories cast
in fires of joy
or they get caught in the skin
of the unkind memories we keep deep within
sometimes I want to fish with those hooks
catch memories where I want to look
nostalgic daydreams
but the present is all we really have
when we realise that memories are trying for a land grab
the fish like memories we have stored
need a sea
but between you and me and I just want to be…
My iOS
is analytical
my circular thinking sometimes is an ellipses
my blacklight is the moon
I sometimes feel a sense of doom
pessimistic gloom
whether I am apple, android or Linux driving this computers machine
I laugh until I scream
My search bar is Firefox
not Google
It’s has an interesting internet history
why is a mystery!
special interests
religion
Science
and philosophy
A cacophony of voices
and anxiety about choices
My App Store has flaws
is yet to be developed
my operating system
has ghost code
I sometimes have to try to avoid goblin mode
I find social stuff hard
Autism spectrum disorder
It’s hard to understand
even with AI
I know I am wired differently
I just don’t know why?
I already said I loved you
I already read the words
I already looked for answers
in the sky your heart and the free flying birds
I already grasped for your hand
I already whispered to your soul
I already took the plunge
but fell short of my goal
I already spent days with you
I already kissed your cheek
I already have your voice in my head
I already am that mad every week
the loss of you spiralling and making me sad
the chances are we will never meet again
but I am glad we were once close
I already thought about it already is my ghost…
You are scared of my love
it’s ferocious
and fierce
but not enough to pierce
through the void
Like the devil
and God
we are pitted against one another
I was your favourite once
now I have a message for you
I won’t give up
Cave in or die
All I ask is why?
It’s all in your head
the schizophrenia
the uncertainty
behind the curtains of your mind
to be special,
to be magic is to be tragic
to be alone
than one of your drones
is your superhero ability or curse
left in the storm of denial
we are all crazy here
with broken smiles
token, broken people
who believe in science and logic
So pluck your theories from the air
and prove you care
you make the meaning
even if your dreaming
It’s all in your head
so drive yourself mad
and stand alone
even the devils throne
is not comfortable but it’s home
You play hero I will play villain
though shades of grey exist and the truth not always willing
to rear it’s ugly head
filled with the expectation of being cancelled
and being heard
or Amber Heard
is different from being adept
or Johnny Depp.
we are divided down many lines and labels
and what we are being told merely a fable
when we can’t take it with a pinch of salt
and we halt
and can’t show a sign of empathy
How did life and judgement get so unjust
and all cards we hold are bust
because we no longer care just lust over celebrities
while our empathy is eroded and no treaty
or thought police AI can save us
from not understanding the people we see before us.
Drifting from day dream dramas
Karma an unhinged beast
feasting on imagination
His righteous indignation
blushing red against his skin
but chained against his respectable aura
he didn’t want to grow up
He’d rather blow up
like a bomb
Songs gather enemies embolden
the golden days are over
fairies watch dying in the distance
His shadow takes over leading him on
Peter Pan as a man
He’s forgotten to dream
to feed the crocodile of time
these are the days that loose their shine
corporate suits kill
never land roots lost
We all grow up he’ll never settle down
lost in psychosis
waiting for cleansing osmosis
telling tales no one believes…
In your eyes the tragic reminder
that memories fade
into the void
and get destroyed
I loved you more than my heart conveyed
though time is a blade
it cuts out the good and bad
memories or leaves scars
the stars that aligned
now fate has mined
and we with left separated when we should have been entwined.
I was wild and free once upon a time
a child with time and rhymes
but my parents can’t listen
just thought of me being bad
curbing my behaviour
they couldn’t be my saviours
I went quiet wanting to start a riot
It could have gone two different ways
but life strays on to one path
the aftermath of which
made me a background poet
my poetry is the ink I bleed
from wounds I don’t need
My parents need me to be their counsellor
but I can’t
I just can’t…
cycles can be broken
when loves awoken
but sometimes I want to fight back
to see the crack
of light through the walls.