Bleeding on the pavement
feral enslavement
light bringer
Who are you the king of?
tears in tear ducts
love is sometimes not giving a fuck
what people think
drink
drink in the silence
hear he voice again
the pain you feel
just the passage way of time
you were once her light that shined.
I used to talk to god in the dark wilds of my grans cupboard under the stairs
I used to walk around the playground looking for friends just getting blank glares
I used to think god was a man but it’s probably a goddess I was looking for
I used to think I had the key to heavens door,
I broke into her house looking to talk some more
I used to want to be last messenger of god but the girl with many faces needs someone else
I have walked through the white corridors of mental asylums
I have been a child trying to find her
She left me clues
this is the haunted man once a strange child blues.
The breathing, needing distance
Panic attack insistence
beating against the ribs bones and skin
I cannot escape I am chased within
By the a hound I cannot see
It’s agony
My breathing speeds up
I lose my voice
I fear the destroyer of peace of mind
I am the death of kindness
and insistent
to cause such pain
I am agony and fear like death
I am agony and lack of breath
Of all the things that sting
is that I know your future life
It grates to know that I wait
for this is my last one
I am overcome with sadness I am undone
as we talk at cross purposes
What loneliness and hurt this is
I promised you that I’d wait for ever as your best friend
but love shatters like glass in the end
You are my mirror…
In side the beaten white walls of an mental institution
where people go to be uprooted from their delusions
Sat a man his hand outstretched as if holding hands with the dark
No spark to light his way, only the tragic marks his way
he used to play childish games by himself
look they say where is his mental health?
has it left him altogether why does his play childish games
he would call a name on the wind
for the child he lost unbeknown to them
Tilly or Matilda the ghost of a child of six
who he held in his arms before he was sick
she swallowed her tongue in an epileptic fit
but before then were eye spy and guessing games
before then were pin the tale on the donkey and blind mans buff
I guess we are all in a way sheltering memories like ghosts
In the places in the heart we hide
which we can never move away from no matter how we stride
or how many steps we take
life is sometimes an evil fate.
All your dreams never started
dearly departed
That’s how I felt
Kneeling on a hospital floor praying to you
to save my life
you are my goddess of wisdom
my teeth going rotten
like the dreams I had as a child
it’s heart wrenching
my parents said my psychosis
was a bereavement
the life intended, lost
I had to be mended there would be a cost
goddess of the universe, girl with many faces
I have been through a war with myself
but my mental health
is the thing I can never get back
but sometimes their are cracks of light through the wall
I know the goddess understands us all.
As the old years cards fold
and we are dealt a new hand
when we’d give anything to understand
Fate’s plan.
we have to make as much as we can
Of our lucky stars
and hard work
whether lord or lady or office clerk
we hold the keys to doors unseen
we must follow our dreams
or facilitate the dreams
of our children
and even when
our cards are a bad hand
we can take the odds
and sods
and ask for help
for love is stealth
and it can over come
so don’t be glum
turn over new leaves
Life is better lived
when we move forward and breathe in new air
The rainbow becomes white light
All we love we long for and fight with
pages torn, we try to forgive
and live on.
The anger we once held
falls away in the cold light of day
We preach to the pavements
that people walk on,
they point the way
chalk quotations written on and on
can’t you tell?
Love is the only sanity
the only truth we lean upon.
Hope bends like a trees branches
but the light on the river still dances
we flow like water
whether sons or daughters
we catch the light that’s brought us here
pigeon toed we may walk
The road the pavement goes on
Serenaded by destiny’s song
we are the children of the roads
we walk.
But for every rainbow
There is a price
living each day as it comes
and fighting to not be numb
but when all is said done
We are our shades
the river water the blades of grass
heaven has always been here no need to ask
grab my hand feel it’s warmth
in the chill cold air
I know you care
when you clasp my hand in yours
I know life the great teacher will settle the scores
and for all it’s flaws
it still has the power to open jaws.
Pain maybe a certainty
but we grow towards the light
and it’s warmth
we need the cold permeation of the rain
osmosis on the brain
the flood of blood
the dirt, the shit, the mud
To have light we need darkness
contrast brings joy
thinking of male and female
Yin and yang
to love is to understand…
I stare at my phone screen
dreaming, scheming
I need constant attention
what a wonderful invention
I need likes and comments
I can write sonnets
to myself
in my Instagram posts
I can puff my chest and boast
but all my dreams are toast
I am narcissus staring at my reflection
on further inspection
I only love myself
and this phone is an extension of me
I shouldn’t choose to die
but this life is self absorbed lie.