The world goes on behind my window
I stare out into the suns glare
I wrap myself around my thoughts
and all that I have sought
do I still care?
I am broken beggar
trying to get a leg up
sometimes I want to say
words of meaning
am I still dreaming?
my hearts soft like paper
sometimes it’s hard like a diamond
fashioned with pressure and heat
sometimes I play my songs on repeat
hoping to make my way to someone’s smile on the street.
I bow to the dark
sometimes I look to the stars sparkling in the sky
sometimes I want to die
but I realise life is short
and I love my friends to much to make this life end
so my epitaph will say I loved until my world drifted away
but I left you my words and that’s more than ok.
If I could cry your tears
fight your fears
if I could rattle ignorance’s cage
this would be the war I’d wage.
If I could give you back the light in your eyes
put the truth where angels cry
if I could give you the words to bring hope
I know you’d live and cope.
If I could take your violence, your silence
and give you expression
If I could take the promises you broke
and grant you the rest to be awoken
From the madness that taken your love and potential
and show you the stars shine for us all
I would pick you up from your fall
and guide you to a new dawn
for the words have been born anew
the story lies with me and you
and you can make it through
the heartache and maddening pain
you can find your rainbow in the rain.
When did our yearning to protect and serve
and keep people safe?
turn into rage and wanting danger?
We are no stranger to tragedy
avidly wrestling with our desire for violence
was it taught by society and our father, are they keeping silent?
Soldiers growing colder each day
to the god of man we pray
to teach us a better way.
Anger our, “man up” emotion
lost in its devotion
we need different role models action man won’t cut it.
As we destroy ourselves fighting and wrestling with the anger inside
as we collide with the alternate worlds we hide
inside the potential we have
and are told to bite at ourselves
as “man up” is the only thing we hear
we disappear from the innocence
we held dear
the blood stained tear
gives way more often to anger and fear.
Blood shot eyes
Awake in flashback nightmares
Screaming in silence
Lost in guilt ridden violence
Everyday is a brutal regime
There’s no distinguishing no changing
What I have done
Screaming victims is the war won?
A burning temper
A cold December
I try not to drink.
Realities torment I try not to think
Every time their faces come back to me
I stammer when I talk, I just can’t be
Screaming victim is the war won?
My family tries to support
My ravaged soul
I see the flames
They are burning out if control
In the distance a ray of light
Paralyzed by anxiety
I look to my family
Is the war won?
I am getting beaten
But I won’t back down
I forgive myself
I won’t back away
If there is a god
They’d forgive me I pray
I have let my war fade away…
Yeah gold plated
What’s underneath your skin?
Life sold cheap
You reap what you know
Where is it getting your mental health?
To be a make up covered scar
Instead of a star
Chain smoking to fill your time
Life is lived through the eyes of grime
We are in your little band
Miserable we still don’t understand
Life in conflict makes a good story
You tell yourself I don’t want to be ordinary
Debt ridden though and poor
You’re fighting your invisible war
and yet the people and the politicians don’t care anymore
You tell yourself it’ll get better
The glass half full to aspire
Lights your fire
are you burning bright
Or burning away.