I used to talk to god in the dark wilds of my grans cupboard under the stairs
I used to walk around the playground looking for friends just getting blank glares
I used to think god was a man but it’s probably a goddess I was looking for
I used to think I had the key to heavens door,
I broke into her house looking to talk some more
I used to want to be last messenger of god but the girl with many faces needs someone else
I have walked through the white corridors of mental asylums
I have been a child trying to find her
She left me clues
this is the haunted man once a strange child blues.
I know you won’t believe me.
I know you probably won’t see things from my point of view
I know your heart is beating faster than freight train
but I am you.
As the universe divides and fragments
I can see things that were meant and never meant
that were and never were
in your eyes,
the dreaming of starry skies
the Sunday morning rainbows
the sun that glows
the words permeating your story’s pages with ink
the way we sunk and sink
into grasping the everlasting
you by no means are not a failure
you are the sea the ship I sail on and yeah
I know it’s a sea of salty tears
blown by the winds of love and overblown fears
but you are my guide
a force I cannot hide
as I take my strides
you are my power of three
and my truth I long to see.
Sectioned and arrested for telling the police you thought you were Jesus Christ
life is mad no need to look twice
god dies at 16 without a wife
he kills himself in metaphorical death
living his life as someone else bereft
Of the life he should of led
why do anything dead body but be what’s left?
the only difference between god and devil, is choice?
left alone with a shadow self’s caged voice
life hits like a tidal wave
and it’s a close shave
that no one can save
I am the choice the blade
cutting myself to fit in
rubbing out what I have written
Equally cursed as blessed
the rule of three undressed.
and under stress.
This poem was written from experience of mental illness and psychosis. I believe as pieces of this kaleidoscopic universe we our all God or gods and goddesses in our own right. That may put me at odds with science but that’s what I believe that we are the universe experiencing itself in various depths and levels.
Preventable our pain
dropping like rain
if we had perspective
like a god detective
we would see
and the sun can burn
I stand with you
a man for all seasons
treason is not letting go
the truth is hard to swallow
but sister I’d follow you into the depths
weeping tears which kept
filling buckets like the rain
I love you it is constant like the waters beneath us in underground lakes
love is in us it wakes from our eyes.
Dead Gods statues crack eroded by time
I am your nightmare
tears form a weapon
to never stop
I am your communion a blood for wine
we feed on Jesus
whether your faith or mine
Its based on a fallen world
How long have we been in servitude
To a god who puts apples on trees
Then tells us not to eat
I will wage a war on idolatry
our reality is love and light
But we are engaged in a fight
for our sanity.
A poem of the day for love andover radio station website. It’s about spirituality we are the universe.
Love andover poem
Blood shot eyes
Awake in flashback nightmares
Screaming in silence
Lost in guilt ridden violence
Everyday is a brutal regime
There’s no distinguishing no changing
What I have done
Screaming victims is the war won?
A burning temper
A cold December
I try not to drink.
Realities torment I try not to think
Every time their faces come back to me
I stammer when I talk, I just can’t be
Screaming victim is the war won?
My family tries to support
My ravaged soul
I see the flames
They are burning out if control
In the distance a ray of light
Paralyzed by anxiety
I look to my family
Is the war won?
I am getting beaten
But I won’t back down
I forgive myself
I won’t back away
If there is a god
They’d forgive me I pray
I have let my war fade away…
They bury you under original sin
Animal instincts desires
Man oh man you can’t win
You tire of your skin
Or is it the soul within?
Which yearns to be free
The key to life love
do we really know what it is?
The ones who really love you bang their heads on your brick wall
However the ones who walk tall are seldom wise
Does it come as any surprise?
God they say calls time at the end of your life
When you have been beaten by the Christian whip
Of self loathing
I don’t know about you but I’d say if God exists
He or she would be understanding if they walked in our shoes!