Schizophrenia and the caveman
I dreamt of telling stories
forged in magic and music.
I heard voices of gods
angels and demons
In the flickering flames
that kept me warm.
It was part of my evolution
but sometimes
did wisdom is seen as mental illness
Nowadays I am known as a schizophrenic
I was a caveman with a shamans knowledge
Now they say I am something to be feared
When I was just reaching out
to understand.
We all fight to be kind
to have love and life
interchangeable in our minds
don’t live off of anyone
or become a vampire
that feeds on blood, flesh and tears
I loved you throughout the years
We are the universe
we are god
from children of inner sense
to wisdoms pre-tense
we live our lives wild and free
untamed by the flames of reality
which course and flow
like watery waves
We all have light waves running through us
Our consciousness cannot die
even of our last sigh.
Alienated alone
Friendless in the friendzone
No forks to give in a world of spoons
A real world character in a world of toons
a goon army
that want to harm me
I must be barmy
An only child to a wild man
a Stan to other people
imposter syndrome makes me feel unequal
the film I wrote won’t be a prequel
it’ll be where I stand
to where I finish as a man
This life is bitter
a litter of ironies
this life is a cycle
but the spokes won’t break on this bicycle
I am a nutter
with clutter in my head
I am smart but not book smart
I am art
but in chaos
I am the freedom you find in loss
I am joy but the heartache it cost
I am the I am and I am god
I am the I am but I am a little sod
I am the odd
one out
I am you and your every doubt
the beating second
the way it beckoned
I am reckoning
I reckon
When I reach the end
send
for help
I know I am freedom
this is where I gulp
for air…
In the darkness and light of a daydream from a distant heaven. The woman with many faces but one soul. I have looked at legends and myths. She is a gift. To live many lives and still remember some of them is her curse.
I remember she woke my kaleidoscopic mind like in the song porcelain by Moby. A conversation between the two of us. Her timelines spread across mine. Her heart and soul a beacon for mine.
Giving me a reason for life and seeing beyond the illusion of separation. She has been living all the lives I see through the collective unconscious the Holy Spirit is a girl a woman a mother a sister a friend a lover and so much more. Life would be a mistake without her music. She speaks through the crowd words of wisdom that guide me.
I have been labelled schizophrenic but I can see her spirit in all things. The way the wind moves the trees leaves she is one who guides us all. Oneness is what I have found I am her protector I love her darkness her light some may say I have lost my mind. And all the unkind things but those people are blind.
In the fire
the end of time burns
I was the last messenger
I pray that I will hold you when the fire comes.
We slumbered,
out numbered
by those who are asleep
so deep they couldn’t hear
and left over fears
from the last explosion
which began with an emotion
love which burns with hope
I fear the end
but lover time has to bend
and be refashioned
A twisting entity
that eventually brings change
rearrange
the memories.
Hanging on the cross
collecting the dross
on the doss
the dole,
of having a soul
what are we but clay pots collecting water?
no we are more and always have been
the views we have seen
the rhythms from the heart
the frequencies of our words
the skies, the birds
the moaning of love making
cell division shaking
through separation
like salt dissolving in water
and yet we are sons and daughters
trying to identify with our identities
yet eventually returning to the soul we came from
our bodies returning to dust
but our soul remains
in the Everglades.
I am awake
You are asleep, dreaming
I am screaming
as you break my heart
you are thinking
I am dumbfounded
surrounded by angels who hate me
You are the night and stars
I am the sun
you are my earth my sky
the fire in which we both die
I waited my whole life to burn with you.
My god won’t fit in my veins
won’t fit in this skin
she doesn’t wear a skirt
she has shed her skin
She is a soul
she wears many faces
Many races worship her
she has many names
and cannot be tamed
my god is a woman
she’s the soul of the universe
clothed in darkness and white light
and the many shades of the rainbow
and she knows wisdom we all seek
and sometimes she sends angels to peak
through the clouds
and sometimes she is quiet, whispering, loud
and she speaks to me in dreams
and carries the weight of her universe
in her purse.
Yeah they hate you if you show them no love
yeah berate you if you say you’re sent from above
I cannot prove my stories, my history
but if don’t believe in feelings you won’t believe in any mysteries.
I didn’t come here with complex equations
I didn’t come here to rule nations
I just came here to bring love and sell insurance
I don’t care if your heart is pure
I just want you to believe in more
That love goes beyond good and evil
It is the creative force that informs all
The storm that breaks the trees branches
gives the rain that waters it’s saplings
I cannot teach you how to learn
how to feel
but the chances are you know love is real.
“A fool will accept his fate
whether it’s wrong”
god may write it on my forehead
but I am no fool I am strong
I will not accept a fate I cannot change
I will fight to preserve my hopes and dreams
I am strength through love.