My little Empire

My dreams,my schemes,my silence, my words

scattered about

My legacy doesn’t speak doubt

You will see gold glinting in the corner of your eye

diamond tears wept

that kept you alive

because you drank from their cup

I am

You

You

are

me

This life is better

this life is enough

when you acknowledge we all have empires

we are enough…

Heaven is heartache

Heaven is heart ache

just beating in my chest

At least it’s still there

It gives me no rest.

I turned down a goddess in her underwear

just so I could play saviour

all my dreams made of paper

nightmares paper cuts

doomed to hear the words of sluts

Starving just to lap up leftovers up

I dream of being a hero

but I am fascinated by the villainess

the heroine is too much of a drug

I slug it out with my mind but depression is a thug

dominating my ever move

I love to dance but my song isn’t my groove

Boy in the corner

Boy in the corner
stares into space
boy in the corner
falls asleep what a disgrace
it’s school, lesson time
learning about life
Boy in the corner
Don’t you want a job and a wife?

teacher makes fun
boy in the corner
why are you a daydreamer?
or are you just dumb?
everyday there stare through you
you feel numb
sadness is the only way
to live your parents blame you
they blame each other
boy in the corner
you will soon have a sister and brother

Boy in the corner
its time for college
aren’t you glad
boy in the corner you lost your temper are you mad?
The question hangs in the air
boy in the corner
with hell in your head
Boy in the corner
you identify with Jesus but he’s dead

Boy in the corner
Now you’re in handcuffs
You told the police your him
in a police cell causing a din
they gave you your sins
told your sectioned
and need correction

Boy in the corner
taken to psychiatric hospital
in police wagon
facing the dragon that is insanity of life
you don’t want to eat
For fear of the devil inside your mind
Hated by yourself and unkind

The only way out is not believe your own lies
Boy in the corner
You will your right your wrongs
Boy in the corner you are strong
Stay strong in the character you have chosen
your heart is hot not frozen

Boy in the corner you will climb that mountain
Experience that kiss
Love that woman
you will come through this
boy in the corner
Your heart is fierce
boy in the corner
You are man
you will make the haters understand.

Loneliness the beast of burden

Loneliness the beast feeds on my confidence

until all have is insanity

I will hold it back with words driven home with meaning

maybe I will be dreaming

a better a life

maybe I am reaping what I have sown

but I will not believe in fear I love myself and own all I am

I am the shadow and the light

and I will fight until my hands wither

and I grow faint

I will ignore the loneliness and it’s taint.

Panic attack

The breathing, needing distance

Panic attack insistence

beating against the ribs bones and skin

I cannot escape I am chased within

By the a hound I cannot see

It’s agony

My breathing speeds up

I lose my voice

I fear the destroyer of peace of mind

I am the death of kindness

and insistent

to cause such pain

I am agony and fear like death

I am agony and lack of breath

The ghost child of the man in the asylum

In side the beaten white walls of an mental institution

where people go to be uprooted from their delusions

Sat a man his hand outstretched as if holding hands with the dark

No spark to light his way, only the tragic marks his way

he used to play childish games by himself

look they say where is his mental health?

has it left him altogether why does his play childish games

he would call a name on the wind

for the child he lost unbeknown to them

Tilly or Matilda the ghost of a child of six

who he held in his arms before he was sick

she swallowed her tongue in an epileptic fit

but before then were eye spy and guessing games

before then were pin the tale on the donkey and blind mans buff

I guess we are all in a way sheltering memories like ghosts

In the places in the heart we hide

which we can never move away from no matter how we stride

or how many steps we take

life is sometimes an evil fate.

There are no Hollywood endings

I am sending you my hopes and prayers

but I swear there will be no Hollywood endings

I am sending you my dreams and aspirations

born of perspiration

and tears

But there are no fairy tales here.

Set sail for distant lands

But it’s all just dust and sand

I know there is magic I heard it on the freezing breeze

in the coughs of old men

but life can’t give you a happy ending

you have to find it yourself

and accept it for what it is…

The girl with many faces do you want me?

They held me down in the hospital

I screamed your name I as the needle punctured my skin

sedated

All I wanted was love

but the angels don’t answer

they just sleep

even the demons weep

is the price too steep?

I broke into house just to talk to one of your many faces

When life is a bruised fruit

do you have the roots

like a tree to rescue me?

heaven is sunlights kiss

but I am in the dark

Our divine spark is pain.