Jesus I am alone

The heartaches when I am in my home

pretending people are with me

my heart is a icy block a sullen stone

Sometimes in solitudes den

I pretend that I am free when

I am on my own

I am just recovering from life’s traumas

Sometimes I pretend I am jesus in a tomb

in my living room

waiting to roll away the stone

and be free with people who love me

but often people talk over my ideas

and conversation

I know I am alone

but with the voice in my head I never truly am

life is painful but I know I am!

alive and fighting wrestling with life’s gaping questions

and although people won’t agree with me

I am the marks the footprints I have left

I am the ideas that crept into your head from a poem I wrote years ago

my life is art

and it drives my heart

but like paper sometimes I am lost in the bin

of life

sometimes in mundane drudgery we find that life is unkind

but it’s the only one I have…

I stole your heart I lost the world

tortured by truth

a name on your lips

Jesus’s shadow remains

the contrast stains the rainbow it’s many colours dance

I won’t leave it to chance

The Lightning you are afraid of

Speaks of thunderstorms

but they are born in my head

I stitch the threads

together

forever in daydreams and songs

I lost my sun

But my heart beats strong.

god dies

Sectioned and arrested for telling the police you thought you were Jesus Christ

life is mad no need to look twice

god dies at 16 without a wife

he kills himself in metaphorical death

living his life as someone else bereft

Of the life he should of led

why do anything dead body but be what’s left?

the only difference between god and devil, is choice?

left alone with a shadow self’s caged voice

life hits like a tidal wave

and it’s a close shave

that no one can save

I am the choice the blade

cutting myself to fit in

rubbing out what I have written

Equally cursed as blessed

the rule of three undressed.

and under stress.

This poem was written from experience of mental illness and psychosis. I believe as pieces of this kaleidoscopic universe we our all God or gods and goddesses in our own right. That may put me at odds with science but that’s what I believe that we are the universe experiencing itself in various depths and levels.

Do you think they will ever care?

Do you think they will ever care?

the rich and powerful and the big banks

own us with their guns and tanks

will they care when we are gone?

they siphon our money through a straw

Just so they can get richer through the profits of war

on everyone including the poor and disabled

the immigrants and working class able

We are slaves to the rich in this so called Christian country

full of those who would spout forth

I speak of my discourse

but wasn’t it Jesus who said

that it is as difficult as a camel to go through the eye of a needle

as a rich person to go to heaven

the hour is getting late it’s way past quarter past eleven

Or is the doomsday clock wrong

we live on knife edge don’t tell us we are strong

In being poor

heaven can wait for our souls

we need to be cared for…

The fight for sanity

Dead Gods statues crack eroded by time
I am your nightmare
tears form a weapon
they threaten
to never stop
I am your communion a blood for wine
Liquid divine
we feed on Jesus
whether your faith or mine
Its based on a fallen world
How long have we been in servitude
To a god who puts apples on trees
Then tells us not to eat
I will wage a war on idolatry
our reality is love and light
But we are engaged in a fight
for our sanity.

The nightmare man

Staring at crosses as you run from the church
They won’t find you down dale or over birch
Your hidden
Life ridden with guilt
No matter the blood spilt
On your behalf
and from your body
You will never find peace
Eternal unrest
Guardian to the place where sleeping angels lie
You struggle for the will not to die but to fade
But your caught in the harrowing hades shades
Reborn into a place where the vampires know your name
They say they worship you but their eyes pierce you with blame
the people who don’t acknowledge you better people than your followers
Who want heaven and followers for themselves
Your book they say lines people’s shelves
But it’s not really your story
It’s been rewritten so many times
To form chains and bind
Your children within
They say everything you do is a sin
Original sin you cannot win
the devil your misinformed
The on coming storm
you’d save your twin but she probably hates you for what you’ve done
Ideological war fare
You live your life trying to follow your own rules
Ignoring the fact you were born someone else
You wished for the secret of the universe
To converse with god
It’s a shame he is you and you are them
You cannot stem the suffering
Or Break your chains

Jesus says

I came back
you wouldn’t believe me
Receive me as gods messenger
I saw crucifixes
You left me there on that cross
Not listening to a word I said
Left me for dead
You thought I said the kingdom of heaven was within you
It was mistranslated you are the kingdom
and this could have been heaven
If you’d worked together
But instead you sever
the ties and die
reincarnated as yourself
In a different body
To all who have ears
and a mind which isn’t blind
We are the rainbow and white light
All colours every shade
arrayed in splendour
a flame is still a flame away from the fire
It still burns and the light yearns
to burn
We all burn for love.