Haunted mirror

The real god dies over and over again

forgetting again who they were

we were torn in two

male and female

lovers and through and through

in me and in you

in this physical plane

we feel physical pain

a constructed prison

for our collective soul

while the demiurge governs

our existence

only Christ and Sophia our collective soul offer resistance

Waking up

Waking up on a cold brown leather sofa

Not knowing who I am

a man and women ask me how I am?

I ask them if they have any children?

they say no

then a child comes in from the voids light

it’s her birthday

she says I will never drive as knight rider plays on tv

then she asks for a sister and two appear

more birthday girls although one older and one younger

Years on I went to that house

a girl not the same one says something terrible happened here to you

because of you

I hear it in the whispers on the telephone

I see visions of the man being arrested

how did I get home?

memories fragmented

this waking dream won’t relent

I am prevented from seeing what happened

You were too bright to be a diamond

You were too bright to be a diamond

a halo of brightest stars

a lover beyond the tears of a heroine

a remembrance

of the classical

the divine

you could be chiselled in marble

yet heart is flesh

but your soul is held in golden sunlight

and yet you are my darkness

in your shade

I carry the obsidian blade

to protect you

and sacrifice my heart.

Skin Remembers

Scars won’t forget

Living life with habits and daily regrets

I lost you in the sands of time

only your voice remembered

like the days tender sunlit kiss

but my television brain won’t remember this

that it came to an end before it started

and those days are long time departed

the spark in my heart

won’t leave

this aches longing to breathe

but I cannot deceive myself in to thinking

we were anything but just friends

the hour grows late, I just pretend

I can’t send you that last message

that says this ends

because your voice haunts me

you are my tattoo, my scar.

Loneliness the beast of burden

Loneliness the beast feeds on my confidence

until all have is insanity

I will hold it back with words driven home with meaning

maybe I will be dreaming

a better a life

maybe I am reaping what I have sown

but I will not believe in fear I love myself and own all I am

I am the shadow and the light

and I will fight until my hands wither

and I grow faint

I will ignore the loneliness and it’s taint.

I realised my truth

Sitting in the darkness of my nan’s cupboard under the stairs talking to god

an odd little boy

Who wanted his dreams to matter

Who wanted them to be true

I needed love but I need my beliefs to be real too.

my life’s foundations aren’t love as they ought to be

but wanting to have a special relationship with the creating force or spiritual entity

or maybe to be special or chosen myself

I am the monster who daydreamed blue skies

but when the light in my eyes dies

who will I be?

the man with tears in his eyes for all he let go

the man with tears in his eyes because he never got to let his heart show

someone that they mattered above all

my heart was always a shield or a wall.,,

Strange child blues

I used to talk to god in the dark wilds of my grans cupboard under the stairs

I used to walk around the playground looking for friends just getting blank glares

I used to think god was a man but it’s probably a goddess I was looking for

I used to think I had the key to heavens door,

I broke into her house looking to talk some more

I used to want to be last messenger of god but the girl with many faces needs someone else

I have walked through the white corridors of mental asylums

I have been a child trying to find her

She left me clues

this is the haunted man once a strange child blues.

Your Angel

they said she would hold your heart

in the deepest darkest part of her soul

her love for you burning like a curse out of control

but they lied or was it fate

because love is hate

war is peace

and you are still free

but dumb in this land of the glum

A setting sun wanting to be her equal

by the quill you write with

you fight with

you love her with respect

does she respect you?

for you were her favourite

where you depraved right?

To turn and walk and away

when she seeks other men to kiss on her pillow

you are just a weeping willow

she cries on

a somber song she lives on

But when is all said and done

you fight for her when the worlds unfair and wrong

you are her strength

the love given that makes her strong

and when she finally sees

the forest from the trees

will you guide her

keep her stride

for you and her make world collide.