Tag Archives: heartache
Killed by a million insensitive words
Words go deep
they creep into my scars and wounds
I cannot tell that you meant it or not
or even realise the damage you cause
I know I am flawed
But sometimes you love me open mouthed with the things that come from your jaw
they are too raw.
If you strangle me it would be cleaner
but your words are meaner
do you mean what you say?
Your words spray
Cut like a split artery
hurt people hurt people
but sometimes evil is insensitivity
callous chaos
I cry
and want to die
emotion abuse
obtuse
and won’t relent
I can’t vent or your words will grow worse
and more vicious
you and I are from different worlds
and I can tell
that you believe I sometimes belong in hell.
Benjamin Zephaniah
Politricks
satire and humour
you taught me that behind clever rhymes
is the life played on repeat
even if it’s on the rong radio station
you lived your life as a warrior poet
with your black belt
and heart felt verse
you spoke words not to fill your purse or wallet
but because you wanted to make a change
in this world of racism and drama
you wanted better karma for us all
though your words have been graffitied onto walls
and written in our minds for all time
Rasta master poet
the man with the flow don’t we know it
a dread degree in ghettology
but a man of philosophy and psychology with
eloquence who spoke to us all
and with a tear in remembrance
I celebrate your life
may you walk in heavens fields
and may we never yield to injustice
like you taught us
because you taught us life’s value
and the value of all people
anarchy and self determinism
we choose our fate
to fight for what’s right
like you’d say is never too late!
Alienated Alone friendless in the friendzone
This wasn’t the life that was advertised
I am surprised
and yet lies
are a belief of some kind
they advertised this life but it has been unkind.
They teased social mobility
the agility to move into the middle class
but aspirations
fall short
they distort
where realised truths stands the door
to the psychiatric ward
where holidays abroad
stand a benefits trap
a DWP map
with no way out
I doubt
I will find a way
into a future a brighter day.
This life isn’t as advertised
through google goggles
through YouTube models
I don’t have a car
three kids and a wife
I have pain and strife
Pessimism is my crutch
no offers or as much
No one gives me a chance at a job
they just call me a benefits slob
I look after my Dad as carer
they swear yeah
even when diagnosed with a serious mental health problem
they think I robbing
tax payers
and no amount of praying
will solve
when the life as advertised dissolves.
In this aching
In this aching
waking dream we live in
I love you is hardest thing to mean
I wait,
but waiting has no solace
my heart I polish for you
but will the stains wash out?
I won’t doubt you are worth it.
Reaching me through the void
and shadows
I cried out to you when they held me down
In the A and E ward I told them who you were
But like big cats don’t always purr
you are something to be worshipped
glorified and feared
If perfect love has no fear
it is love that has been realised
and actualised
I wait in the shadows
dancing in the dark
love is the flames not just the spark
to light my way…
Heaven is heartache
Heaven is heart ache
just beating in my chest
At least it’s still there
It gives me no rest.
I turned down a goddess in her underwear
just so I could play saviour
all my dreams made of paper
nightmares paper cuts
doomed to hear the words of sluts
Starving just to lap up leftovers up
I dream of being a hero
but I am fascinated by the villainess
the heroine is too much of a drug
I slug it out with my mind but depression is a thug
dominating my ever move
I love to dance but my song isn’t my groove
I realised my truth
Sitting in the darkness of my nan’s cupboard under the stairs talking to god
an odd little boy
Who wanted his dreams to matter
Who wanted them to be true
I needed love but I need my beliefs to be real too.
my life’s foundations aren’t love as they ought to be
but wanting to have a special relationship with the creating force or spiritual entity
or maybe to be special or chosen myself
I am the monster who daydreamed blue skies
but when the light in my eyes dies
who will I be?
the man with tears in his eyes for all he let go
the man with tears in his eyes because he never got to let his heart show
someone that they mattered above all
my heart was always a shield or a wall.,,
Panic attack
The breathing, needing distance
Panic attack insistence
beating against the ribs bones and skin
I cannot escape I am chased within
By the a hound I cannot see
It’s agony
My breathing speeds up
I lose my voice
I fear the destroyer of peace of mind
I am the death of kindness
and insistent
to cause such pain
I am agony and fear like death
I am agony and lack of breath
You believe heaven’s a heart beat away
Oh you believe heaven is a heart beat away
It floats away like a summers day
all entrances fade to grey
all your dreams turn to night
you gave away all your sadness it turned to madness and fright
bleeding affray, in moons sight
wolves are wolves
but even they bask under the moons glow
you believe your dreams aren’t hollow
but how many lives must you lead
to know heaven is here it’s every story told
you play a character, you are freedoms child.