I want to Swipe left
On this world
no love finds me
no matter how I try
the right way to live is to cry
but at least I am here
I leave my mark
my divinity just a spark
I have written a thousand poems of longing
I have ached thousands days of love
and never been touched
I clutched at thousand straws
fought a thousand wars
in my head
if I could ever be respected
I’d choose love instead
as love is hope
and fear is respect
I answer in the tongue of the goddess
the only language I understand
in the chaos which haunts and daunts me.
In the yellowed worn out dusty pages
the poetry that had a purpose is not lost
no matter how much the ideas cost
In this cupboard space
like the recesses of my minds eye
Ideas on the page never die
the reader if they thumbed through my poetry
would likely gain a paper cut or two
red ink another happening
mapping the page
the poetic wars we wage
on this desperate stage
between poet and reader
In this cupboard hidden away
will these poems ever see the light of day
like the dead poet lost in time
his reasons and rhymes
still unearth histories
and mysteries of life and of the earth
from birth to the finish
these ideas won’t diminish!
Maybe behind the library rooms and shelves
the poet unpublished poet finds themselves
and their voice
And these poems and half finished ideas
give a voice to voiceless after all these years
will be found and treasured and made into books
that people will treasure read and look
after finding this lost cupboard.
I already said I loved you
I already read the words
I already looked for answers
in the sky your heart and the free flying birds
I already grasped for your hand
I already whispered to your soul
I already took the plunge
but fell short of my goal
I already spent days with you
I already kissed your cheek
I already have your voice in my head
I already am that mad every week
the loss of you spiralling and making me sad
the chances are we will never meet again
but I am glad we were once close
I already thought about it already is my ghost…
I have no roots
my beauty isn’t even soil deep
I lie in the water of tears I have wept
kept until I die a rotten death
you shouldn’t have cut me from my home
broken stems all alone
this is me dead
all the colours of garden lost in my head.
You say you are the devil
Is she in your eyes?
Cold like black ice
why did you wound yourself with all those scars?
Did you make a third of the stars fall from the sky?
I want to help you but they take you away
this is a prison not a hospital so you say
you said you possess people, anyone you want
I am stuck with a voice inside my head
is it yours?
I once wanted to escape to heaven
through a back door
if Love is key why can’t I free you from the curse
Love is chains which bind me, grind me down
I want to ask you if I could be your friend but I am a clown
I am the hound which guards your gates
I am Cerberus one head in the past
One in the present who waits
One in who looks to the future and doesn’t hesitate
devil or woman I want you to free
but Love is only real love if we both can free?
The devil is a dog who lives alone
No roots to break through his heart of stone
He sits alone in his despair
No devil may care attitude to wear
life is love and connection
no time for too much introspection
He often reminisces in the fortress his home
but death is regret and the drone of tv
I wish he says I had a heart
the memories I have pick me apart
But at the end it’s tv meals
that steal our time
Moments spent with others,chime
they are our reason to live
people are our reason to give.
In the midst of midnight air,
stood a man who didn’t care.
For he was a man who made world’s collide
and every bit of earth bore his stride.
He was the key, the door to realities thick, slick and uncertain
beyond realities curtains
however there was one thing he didn’t have and that was a wife
to free him from his darkness his strife.
He searched in coffee shops and in bars,
he looked for answers in the stars,
until he found his equal a woman beyond others,
Sophia the woman in the fire the object of his desire
her wisdom burned bright forged in fiery Stars of eternal unrest
with a beauty that cant be bested
but his love for her was yet untested.
She told him to win her heart he’d have to become mortal
and so would she for in mortality
you see there are lessons that can be learned.
Her heart burned for him so much in the transition
that it became a birth mark above her chest,
he would have to find her to pass the test.
However when they met for the first time
she had met him in a timeline before,
she warned him of tragedies of a life if he stood alone,
a king with a crown but an empty throne.
Although he hadn’t put it together
what she was meaning that without her he’d be dead
but his mind had a needle but not a thread
and although he had a good heart he was easily led
so at 16 he lost his mind.
Believing in heavenly things rather than science
which all people believed to be true.
Sectioned under the mental health act 1983
Seeing into the distant reality,
he saw a girl lost her mascara ran down her face,
she was a girl who had lost her place in the scheme of life’s dream,
her silence was a scream.
She told him things about his future but as he reached out for her she was taken away
for she was his Sophia and they both were going to pay,
for in making themselves mortal their only way out was to marry or love without doubt.
He had many doubts, that had found their way out and into his life.
While she was trying to save him through many lives lost,he was struggling with his own.
Returning home from the mental hospital he was told his life was a lie
he felt that the only way to heal was to cry
and cry he did amid his friends who lost patience with him in the end.
He could not pretend to be happy, everyday he looked for an answer to his unhappiness,
in fear there is no hope and he became broken.
One day though he was walking down the town he saw a girl she smiled it lit up his day.
So he asked her if it was ok to know her name?
She said it was Grace.
After chatting for awhile she said “you should have a coffee round my place”?
So he said “yes” and popped round there.
Soon after a few weeks he fell in love he felt like it was a answer from the gods of above
but soon doubts crept into his head whether he should settle down or find a career instead or first. He had made his life into a headache a curse
and much more complicated than it should be.
So he broke up with her, it felt like his spur to create the life he dreamed before it was too late.
So he had a car a house but no wife, no spouse.
Meanwhile he missed Grace missed her soft touch her face
after years of working hard, he found a woman crying in a builders yard,
he remembered who she was because of the birthmark above chest
and the smile to which she was blessed.
Grace now old and heartbroken she told him she had many lovers since him but none who could match.
He still loved her so they went to hers.
But that night electrics in the house caught fire there was a fault.
So they both awoke to the smell of burning with a jolt.
He tried to get her out but the place was full of smoke thick and dense.
Now a voice spoke “I am the fire your heart lies with me.
Do you choose to be with Grace and love her avidly or do you choose the path of fear,
to run away and leave her here with me”.
Realising that Grace had passed out,
he lifted her over shoulder as the fire began to get worse he got her out.
But he collapsed a heart attack ripped through his chest,
he died they laid his body to rest.
But as he walked through the white door of heaven .
There stood Grace as Sophia his wife.
Every time you doubted,I lost you,
you see, every time you ran I loved thee,
for you have passed the test.
Image by http://www.nicolecadet.com/goddess-gallery/