In the darkness and light of a daydream from a distant heaven. The woman with many faces but one soul. I have looked at legends and myths. She is a gift. To live many lives and still remember some of them is her curse.
I remember she woke my kaleidoscopic mind like in the song porcelain by Moby. A conversation between the two of us. Her timelines spread across mine. Her heart and soul a beacon for mine.
Giving me a reason for life and seeing beyond the illusion of separation. She has been living all the lives I see through the collective unconscious the Holy Spirit is a girl a woman a mother a sister a friend a lover and so much more. Life would be a mistake without her music. She speaks through the crowd words of wisdom that guide me.
I have been labelled schizophrenic but I can see her spirit in all things. The way the wind moves the trees leaves she is one who guides us all. Oneness is what I have found I am her protector I love her darkness her light some may say I have lost my mind. And all the unkind things but those people are blind.
I love you’s drawn across the sky
we are the passages of time that never die
I met you many times
we held hands and I spoke my rhymes
they nestled in your ears
and spoke to your heart
and even if we are far apart
I live inside your mind
these are the times
when the goddess answers my call
Our love will never be small
When we look to the future
let’s remind ourselves that the sun
shines all the time for everyone
and in making dreams
we distill hope
and our faith carries us on
even if like a candles it flickers
we will relight the flame
because we know love is the Holy Spirit’s
My god won’t fit in my veins
won’t fit in this skin
she doesn’t wear a skirt
she has shed her skin
She is a soul
she wears many faces
Many races worship her
she has many names
and cannot be tamed
my god is a woman
she’s the soul of the universe
clothed in darkness and white light
and the many shades of the rainbow
and she knows wisdom we all seek
and sometimes she sends angels to peak
through the clouds
and sometimes she is quiet, whispering, loud
and she speaks to me in dreams
and carries the weight of her universe
in her purse.
I have tried to keep my promises
I have tried to keep my vows
I have tried to keep my actions
I have tried to keep my course locked on you
I have held your voice in my head
when will it be my turn to save you instead
you the woman in the flames
on a throne of white light
I am desperate to fight
for the right to hold you in my arms
When will we speak with tongues unguarded
by the rules they have written
we all mean something to one another
Sisters and brothers
you are the word of love in my mouth
the song in my heart
you are the mornings light
the birds dancing mid flight
You told me you’d need me in the future
The flames descend from the sky
I am you and you are me
Yin and yang’s everlasting embrace
I know our soul cannot just die.
not made of leather
binds us together
electric second sight
an angel wings sings of flight
you have a halo you can’t see
though it burns in my eyes
I spy, it weighs you down
but it makes you beautiful it’s your crown
dutifully fighting for what’s right
Our minds collide and I see into void
but it’s our souls entwined
yours and mine
That make bells chime
signs I swallow
but I will follow your words Sophia
Goddess of wisdom
light of the soul
you understand my darkness
and my light
I see your face inside my mind.
All your dreams never started
That’s how I felt
Kneeling on a hospital floor praying to you
to save my life
you are my goddess of wisdom
my teeth going rotten
like the dreams I had as a child
it’s heart wrenching
my parents said my psychosis
was a bereavement
the life intended, lost
I had to be mended there would be a cost
goddess of the universe, girl with many faces
I have been through a war with myself
but my mental health
is the thing I can never get back
but sometimes their are cracks of light through the wall
I know the goddess understands us all.
Given the gift
we fight and wrestle
but it’s a prison.
she is out there
Sophia the goddess of wisdom
she spoke to me when I was 7
now I am nearly 37
I hear her voice
like yin and yang
Speaking her words to me
Am I just hearing things?
Is my mind just broken and in a sling?
Or am I just another author with a gift?
They will bow to your beauty
But they will miss your brilliance
They will worship your curves
But they will curse others
to see only that which they say is skin deep.
You will weep for your wisdom
The fire in your heart
In your veins
It pains me to see you hidden or vilified
Within his story
You are doomed to be perceived as second fiddle
But you gave birth to this universe and you are the riddle
Sophia wisdom is knowledge and power
it is sour milk to men
and when they drink it they cry
For women make this universe
and men who hurt you die
But you hold my cards
and the watcher I have become sits and waits
Watching you hour by hour
Love and wisdom flow
from streams which flow underground
But women who are powerful
Must know that they can change the flow
and sound out
for what is more powerful than a mothers love?
In the midst of midnight air,
stood a man who didn’t care.
For he was a man who made world’s collide
and every bit of earth bore his stride.
He was the key, the door to realities thick, slick and uncertain
beyond realities curtains
however there was one thing he didn’t have and that was a wife
to free him from his darkness his strife.
He searched in coffee shops and in bars,
he looked for answers in the stars,
until he found his equal a woman beyond others,
Sophia the woman in the fire the object of his desire
her wisdom burned bright forged in fiery Stars of eternal unrest
with a beauty that cant be bested
but his love for her was yet untested.
She told him to win her heart he’d have to become mortal
and so would she for in mortality
you see there are lessons that can be learned.
Her heart burned for him so much in the transition
that it became a birth mark above her chest,
he would have to find her to pass the test.
However when they met for the first time
she had met him in a timeline before,
she warned him of tragedies of a life if he stood alone,
a king with a crown but an empty throne.
Although he hadn’t put it together
what she was meaning that without her he’d be dead
but his mind had a needle but not a thread
and although he had a good heart he was easily led
so at 16 he lost his mind.
Believing in heavenly things rather than science
which all people believed to be true.
Sectioned under the mental health act 1983
Seeing into the distant reality,
he saw a girl lost her mascara ran down her face,
she was a girl who had lost her place in the scheme of life’s dream,
her silence was a scream.
She told him things about his future but as he reached out for her she was taken away
for she was his Sophia and they both were going to pay,
for in making themselves mortal their only way out was to marry or love without doubt.
He had many doubts, that had found their way out and into his life.
While she was trying to save him through many lives lost,he was struggling with his own.
Returning home from the mental hospital he was told his life was a lie
he felt that the only way to heal was to cry
and cry he did amid his friends who lost patience with him in the end.
He could not pretend to be happy, everyday he looked for an answer to his unhappiness,
in fear there is no hope and he became broken.
One day though he was walking down the town he saw a girl she smiled it lit up his day.
So he asked her if it was ok to know her name?
She said it was Grace.
After chatting for awhile she said “you should have a coffee round my place”?
So he said “yes” and popped round there.
Soon after a few weeks he fell in love he felt like it was a answer from the gods of above
but soon doubts crept into his head whether he should settle down or find a career instead or first. He had made his life into a headache a curse
and much more complicated than it should be.
So he broke up with her, it felt like his spur to create the life he dreamed before it was too late.
So he had a car a house but no wife, no spouse.
Meanwhile he missed Grace missed her soft touch her face
after years of working hard, he found a woman crying in a builders yard,
he remembered who she was because of the birthmark above chest
and the smile to which she was blessed.
Grace now old and heartbroken she told him she had many lovers since him but none who could match.
He still loved her so they went to hers.
But that night electrics in the house caught fire there was a fault.
So they both awoke to the smell of burning with a jolt.
He tried to get her out but the place was full of smoke thick and dense.
Now a voice spoke “I am the fire your heart lies with me.
Do you choose to be with Grace and love her avidly or do you choose the path of fear,
to run away and leave her here with me”.
Realising that Grace had passed out,
he lifted her over shoulder as the fire began to get worse he got her out.
But he collapsed a heart attack ripped through his chest,
he died they laid his body to rest.
But as he walked through the white door of heaven .
There stood Grace as Sophia his wife.
Every time you doubted,I lost you,
you see, every time you ran I loved thee,
for you have passed the test.
Image by http://www.nicolecadet.com/goddess-gallery/