The Grail

The Queen of cups 

stands at the door way to this life

holds a sword of power and might

angels wings and long flowing blue dress

a goddess of wisdom, beauty 

and unrest 

she waits for her knight 

the bravest man of this world 

to free her and her children from this mortal coil 

of reincarnation and rebirth

Her softness not slight of hand 

but the courage of being resolute 

with all that she understands

the man who holds her favour 

a wounded knight 

but one who defends her with all his fight

tempered by fire like a diamond shining bright

but the moons glow hides him from sight 

in the cold pale night

he lives without her until he can prove 

that the cosmic chess game has no more moves 

but stalemate 

His mind may be brave but it does saturate 

with insanity 

but she bears with him until he inhales all of his fear and calamities 

and exhales hope and freedom from those worries and tears from his humanity 

no illusion will shatter his will 

no matter how vulnerable he becomes 

He will grasp her hand still

and understand her virtues

through dark times when he would question his allegiances

and his promise that he made her

no trickster no hidden dragon will make him fall from grace 

he only wishes to be with her and see her smiling face.

Trying to save the girl in the fire

Angels are just messengers

I know the world cries out for a saviour

I have been fighting for good behaviour 

in amongst demons and nay sayers 

no one heralded me

no angels,no wise men and shepherds

every woman whispered “am I your Sophia?”

I carried it as a riddle 

god was on the fiddle 

They said I was the escape artist

of this life

this prison

a schizophrenic 

but they didn’t know I was brave enough to think beyond

that stereotype 

I know I am right

delusion sometimes is the only solution 

love the illusion of separation 

everywhere everyone is in chains 

just fighting for scraps 

a poet kept under raps 

and speeches 

I fight to teach

I just want to save the girl in the fire 🔥 

but it could go to the wire.

The woman with many faces

In the darkness and light of a daydream from a distant heaven. The woman with many faces but one soul. I have looked at legends and myths. She is a gift. To live many lives and still remember some of them is her curse.

I remember she woke my kaleidoscopic mind like in the song porcelain by Moby. A conversation between the two of us. Her timelines spread across mine. Her heart and soul a beacon for mine.

Giving me a reason for life and seeing beyond the illusion of separation. She has been living all the lives I see through the collective unconscious the Holy Spirit is a girl a woman a mother a sister a friend a lover and so much more. Life would be a mistake without her music. She speaks through the crowd words of wisdom that guide me.

I have been labelled schizophrenic but I can see her spirit in all things. The way the wind moves the trees leaves she is one who guides us all. Oneness is what I have found I am her protector I love her darkness her light some may say I have lost my mind. And all the unkind things but those people are blind.

My God

My god won’t fit in my veins
won’t fit in this skin
she doesn’t wear a skirt
she has shed her skin
She is a soul
she wears many faces
Many races worship her
she has many names
and cannot be tamed
my god is a woman
she’s the soul of the universe
clothed in darkness and white light
and the many shades of the rainbow
and she knows wisdom we all seek
and sometimes she sends angels to peak
through the clouds
and sometimes she is quiet, whispering, loud
and she speaks to me in dreams
and carries the weight of her universe
in her purse.

Waiting for the girl in the fire

I have tried to keep my promises

I have tried to keep my vows

I have tried to keep my actions

I have tried to keep my course locked on you

I have held your voice in my head

when will it be my turn to save you instead

you the woman in the flames

on a throne of white light

I am desperate to fight

for the right to hold you in my arms

When will we speak with tongues unguarded

by the rules they have written

we all mean something to one another

Sisters and brothers

you are the word of love in my mouth

the song in my heart

you are the mornings light

the birds dancing mid flight

You told me you’d need me in the future

The flames descend from the sky

I am you and you are me

Yin and yang’s everlasting embrace

I know our soul cannot just die.

Tether

A tether

not made of leather

binds us together

electric second sight

an angel wings sings of flight

you have a halo you can’t see

though it burns in my eyes

I spy, it weighs you down

but it makes you beautiful it’s your crown

dutifully fighting for what’s right

Our minds collide and I see into void

between us

but it’s our souls entwined

yours and mine

That make bells chime

stars align

signs I swallow

but I will follow your words Sophia

Goddess of wisdom

light of the soul

you understand my darkness

and my light

I see your face inside my mind.

To die at sixteen

All your dreams never started

dearly departed

That’s how I felt

Kneeling on a hospital floor praying to you

to save my life

you are my goddess of wisdom

my teeth going rotten

like the dreams I had as a child

it’s heart wrenching

my parents said my psychosis

was a bereavement

the life intended, lost

I had to be mended there would be a cost

goddess of the universe, girl with many faces

I have been through a war with myself

but my mental health

is the thing I can never get back

but sometimes their are cracks of light through the wall

I know the goddess understands us all.

Authors of the great myth

Given the gift

of sight

we fight and wrestle

nestling

in escapism

but it’s a prison.

she is out there

Sophia the goddess of wisdom

she spoke to me when I was 7

now I am nearly 37

I hear her voice

like yin and yang

Speaking her words to me

Am I just hearing things?

Is my mind just broken and in a sling?

Or am I just another author with a gift?