This wasn’t the life that was advertised

October 21, 2022 by Alienpoet in poetry and tagged alienpoet, art, benefits trap, carer, dark, DWP, heartache, lack of career, life, mental health, mental illness, pain, personal, poem, poor, sadness, schizophrenia, uk, youtube | Leave a comment

I am surprised

and yet lies

are a belief of some kind

they advertised this life but it has been unkind.

They teased social mobility

the agility to move into the middle class

but aspirations

fall short

they distort

where realised truths stands the door

to the psychiatric ward

where holidays abroad

stand a benefits trap

a DWP map

with no way out

I doubt

I will find a way

into a future a brighter day.

This life isn’t as advertised

through google goggles

through YouTube models

I don’t have a car

three kids and a wife

I have pain and strife

Pessimism is my crutch

no offers or as much

No one gives me a chance at a job

they just call me a benefits slob

I look after my Dad as carer

they swear yeah

even when diagnosed with a serious mental health problem

they think I robbing

tax payers

and no amount of praying

will solve

when the life as advertised dissolves.

Self isolation sleeping beauty

April 12, 2020 by Alienpoet in poetry and tagged alienpoet, beauty, corona, dark, death, lockdown, poem, poetry, sadness, sleeping, spoken word, storytelling, tragedy, virus, woman | Leave a comment

Sleeping on a bed
waiting for the world to stop it’s lockdown
you are a vision of beauty
waiting for this pandemic pandemonium to cease
you didn’t eat a poisoned apple
you just sleep,
waiting for the apocalypse
or a prince’s lips to kiss
oxygen is hard to come by
and we can’t let you go
you sleep, waiting for the virus to stop
we give you a shot
of antibiotics.

The nurses and doctors know
that you a few days left to show
whether you’ll recover
your life and find a lover.

But this life is cruel and unfair
we love you
but you look back at us with a blank stare…

Three lions may still cry

July 12, 2018 by Alienpoet in alienpoet, poem, poetry, spoken word and tagged England football, heartache, sadness, world cup | Leave a comment

Lions may still cry

Our hardest opponent

We still battled and tried

4 minutes stretching out in the last chance saloon

Down to 10 men because of injury and doomed

we aimed for the stars

gained our chance

may other chances come

three lions on a shirt

defeat hurts

But the next step needs to be taken

three lions may still roar and awaken

progression, may it be our fate

to awaken a winners state

and battle to the same stage

and this time take our chance

for we invented the this game

football will come home one day again!

The Escapist

October 3, 2017 by Alienpoet in poem, poetry, poetry art, spoken word and tagged abuse, alone, chaos, demon, escape, Escaping, fears, free, phoenix, sadness, substance, tears, unhappiness, waste | Leave a comment

Sometimes my escaping
leads to me scrapping myself
off the floor.
Substance abuse
let loose
has become my demon
from which I have no freedom.
Lost in chaos
I use it change my emotion or keep it in stasis
what a waste this is
I have to face my demons
of psychological fear
work through the tears
become a form of me
that I can eventually be
proud of,
and escape like Phoenix free
when my sadness has left me
and never use the poisons again.

ladies Walk

July 21, 2017 by Alienpoet in alienpoet, poem, poetry, spoken word and tagged Andover, Friendship, hampshire, Hants, inspiration, knitted, ladies, learn, life, make, places, questions, reason, sadness, suicide, truth, uk, walk, what, wonder, you | Leave a comment

ladies walk on hampshire cultural trust website

Walking through greenery
Either side
Of a path
Panoramic vision of Andover town
It’s hard to grasp
That I walked here as a child in a school class
With so many questions
the unusual questions children often ask
Now a man knitted together with reason
and a somewhat logical mind
But always we are out of step with time.
I came through here also on that fateful day when I’d lost my mind
Overcome with sadness that I couldn’t leave behind
I nearly did it, I nearly jumped
Off the bridge which stands in the middle
Another ghost ,another suicide
Another tragedy ,another ended waking dream
An ending all too soon…
But I resolved to face my problems
My friend Chris thought I was going to jump
But though the lump in my throat was massive
My soul rode the storm inside my head
Because to be alive is a wonder
Everyday something to learn
And though hot tears may make eyes sore
I will never take anything for granted
Life is what you make it
And it will never be a chore.

Daniel Hooks
Inspired by Ladies Walk, Andover

I hear the voice of a woman who I still love

July 21, 2017 by Alienpoet in poem, poetry art, Uncategorized and tagged days, depression, eternity, ghost, grey, hunger, Love, madness, sadness, skin, sunny, voice, woman | Leave a comment

The ghost who walks
In this lie
I look for an answer
An answer to why
Chained and changing
In this skin
Its weakness gives birth to pain within
The voice that haunts me it claims to be you
You start your conversation with “you hate me so much”
But I know if you did you
wouldn’t talk to me you’d be out of touch
You want my attention to claw at my skin
Love is hunger it aches within
I love you but that answer is thin
Hollow, the truth swallows all I say
I pray that you find me in a better day
Somewhere in the sun
For all the grey days
Pave the way
For eternity
and I couldn’t be without you this world.

alienpoet

alienpoet blogs his poetry

Tag Archives: sadness