Tag Archives: mental health

I can’t get to the bottom of what you’re saying

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Words spraying what do they mean?

gangrene, rotted and green

toxic enough to poison my world

never mind the vaccine that makes me hurl

These words confuse

your newspapers rhetorical vitriol

leave us uninformed

just mind control

pathogens of lies

and opinions

get into all our sinews

flesh and brains

our soul is stained

I can’t find the truth

it’s been tipp-exed over

I can’t find the real story

who’s the true victor

when we all suffer

the only answer is they’ve built a buffer

between rich and poor

but as the earth dies

Life dies and so do we all.

Deep in a forest of fake news

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Deep in A forest of fake news

Where headline games are people’s views

where pandemics become plandemics

where anti Vaxxers avoid vaccinations

and billionaires avoid taxation.

The forest of fake news

didn’t just spring up

watered by raining lies

governed by media moguls

and Facebook spies

Google and the internet shows us what we want to see

inverted mirrors of reality

each showing trees

a forest for all

with no clarity

How do see the forest from the trees?

or the trees that are fake?

life is forest full of trees but they are increasingly on the make

or plastic

or diseased

or just tricks in our sight

digital trees born out of spite

then cut down into newspapers

there’s no one to save us

we want to see the truth

that wasn’t always hidden

but we’d rather see the fake that’s not guilt ridden.

Truth the tree of life is now overrun

No one can see it

It’s been over come

and in the dark all trees look the same

it’s you and I who are to blame

We allowed them to plant

there fake news trees

and lies and untruths are a disease.

Sometimes

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Sometimes

The world goes on behind my window

I stare out into the suns glare

I wrap myself around my thoughts

and all that I have sought

do I still care?

Sometimes

I am broken beggar

trying to get a leg up

sometimes I want to say

words of meaning

am I still dreaming?

Sometimes

my hearts soft like paper

sometimes it’s hard like a diamond

fashioned with pressure and heat

sometimes I play my songs on repeat

hoping to make my way to someone’s smile on the street.

Sometimes

I bow to the dark

sometimes I look to the stars sparkling in the sky

sometimes I want to die

but I realise life is short

and I love my friends to much to make this life end

so my epitaph will say I loved until my world drifted away

but I left you my words and that’s more than ok.

You can’t imagine the things I have seen

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You can’t imagine my dreams

you can’t think like me in every way

I am unique, I pave the way

I maybe distant

sometimes obtuse

I sometimes let loose

my fears and anger prangs

like a car hitting a wall

but I hold as much truth as you all

See I am schizophrenic

I hear voices

But don’t despair

I see choices

they hang in the air

I have been broken

I don’t expect you to always care

I doggedly battle on

Cause I still know right from wrong

even with whispers and shouts in my mind

I fight to be human and to be kind

Though I suffer with paranoia

the darkness which destroys

I love life enough to stay here and not be destroyed

so don’t have pity

Let me speak and write and sing

because I know sadness is a painful muse

but creativity is my thing.

I come from a lost home

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I come from

A lost home

my psychosis at 16

two years of hell

Dad and mum threw me out

My roots broken

Then Living in hostel

With Creaking fire safe doors

council estate yellow bricks and concrete

Dirty mirky stained glass windows

looking out on the world

Not a church

where I would fashion ideals

But a place I could be at peace and reshape my soul

Even in a place which had a

scent of old burnt out cigarettes

Smokey stained furniture

like an old fashioned bed and breakfast

The kitchen smelt of convenience.

Packs of chicken and beef super noodles

Boiling in a pan.

This is where freedom started

Hope in the darkness

Grey days but sometimes occasional sun

Dance music blaring from my boom box

a CD player in my room

chemical brothers basement jaxx tracks

Paper and pen

Penning poems

finding myself

I still loved a girl called Becky

who didn’t love me

I gave up,drinking as my mental health was suffering

Giving up the poison

for my own piece of mind.

My little Empire

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My dreams,my schemes,my silence, my words

scattered about

My legacy doesn’t speak doubt

You will see gold glinting in the corner of your eye

diamond tears wept

that kept you alive

because you drank from their cup

I am

You

You

are

me

This life is better

this life is enough

when you acknowledge we all have empires

we are enough…

Boy in the corner

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Boy in the corner
stares into space
boy in the corner
falls asleep what a disgrace
it’s school, lesson time
learning about life
Boy in the corner
Don’t you want a job and a wife?

teacher makes fun
boy in the corner
why are you a daydreamer?
or are you just dumb?
everyday there stare through you
you feel numb
sadness is the only way
to live your parents blame you
they blame each other
boy in the corner
you will soon have a sister and brother

Boy in the corner
its time for college
aren’t you glad
boy in the corner you lost your temper are you mad?
The question hangs in the air
boy in the corner
with hell in your head
Boy in the corner
you identify with Jesus but he’s dead

Boy in the corner
Now you’re in handcuffs
You told the police your him
in a police cell causing a din
they gave you your sins
told your sectioned
and need correction

Boy in the corner
taken to psychiatric hospital
in police wagon
facing the dragon that is insanity of life
you don’t want to eat
For fear of the devil inside your mind
Hated by yourself and unkind

The only way out is not believe your own lies
Boy in the corner
You will your right your wrongs
Boy in the corner you are strong
Stay strong in the character you have chosen
your heart is hot not frozen

Boy in the corner you will climb that mountain
Experience that kiss
Love that woman
you will come through this
boy in the corner
Your heart is fierce
boy in the corner
You are man
you will make the haters understand.

Loneliness the beast of burden

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Loneliness the beast feeds on my confidence

until all have is insanity

I will hold it back with words driven home with meaning

maybe I will be dreaming

a better a life

maybe I am reaping what I have sown

but I will not believe in fear I love myself and own all I am

I am the shadow and the light

and I will fight until my hands wither

and I grow faint

I will ignore the loneliness and it’s taint.