This life

This life chaotic 

hypnotic 

energy rushes 

gushes all around me

A sea of endless particles of pain 

I look for the sunshine within the rain

the rainbows light

all fight leaves me

but I won’t give into its spite

the hate breathes

makes you believe 

In humanities downfall

It’s a tall order

living this life in the borders of strife 

where there’s no passport to any heaven 

or any country in that region 

the engine

the cogs of the machine

have us enslaved

even lucifer when he stood up to god

was thrown down and fell

into hell.

This life is pernicious cruel and harsh

most kindness is given by hard graft

and the silence is sometimes the only thing 

that makes us less daft 

for in speaking harsh words are sprayed 

like bullets across the page

or in our ears 

giving us fear and tears 

that scar our sanity 

in this reality 

where we study someone’s psyche 

but not its creator the hater who crafted their malice and spite

and if we don’t realise that they in turn were also formed from people who didn’t always give a fuck 

and told them their so called inner truth

Just to toughen them up,

and yet they didn’t water them with love

or feed them with grace

they deliberately chastised their minds

with words that were unkind

just to make them their clones

the worker unquestioning drones 

You shouldn’t base your life

on the ideals and ideas 

of people who gave way to fears 

and insecurities

give your life to making yourself you

a loving kind person a shining beacon a colourful hue.

Trying to connect to the goddess

Trying to connect

The phone is off the hook

the book has never been opened

it’s pages have been written to cause a word storm

she has been trying to connect

gain your love, respect and attention

her words lost through the airwaves

and echoes in caves

the love that saves you is always the wisest

through generations

and faces she’s been calling through the crowd

her cries,

to reveal the truth through lies

but he loses the plot

through the pain of sadness the madness in his soul…

When the ink drys up

When the ink drys up

And the writer words go missing

who’s going to talk about the two lovers kissing

in songs and poetry

who’s going to write the sonnets the verses

who’s going to tell tales that are fully immersive

ancient lands of fiction

A thriller that’s addictive

when the ink dries

will we find

the stories in our own time…

My third face(the one I never show)

This poem was written from the prompt of a Japanese proverb

That we all have three masks

One to the world

One to friends family

One when we are alone

This is one I wear when I am alone

Angry and aggressive

for justice and justification

in this suffocation

In this isolation.

Powerful, beautiful and strong

Among no one

I bleed the some of my cause

and all my flaws

But angel or demon I open doors

locked

Gun cocked

and ready to fire

Let’s go to the wire

and win

I escape into the mask within

that I do not show

I grow into a man with wings

to fly on the winds

of change

I rearrange

The strange flow of my words

the poet grasps at the meaning

he’s dreaming…

I live at the borders of your life

I seem to live at the borders of your life

I don’t have a passport to visit your country

I live at your borders

we both know people and have mutual friends

but we both know love doesn’t hide in your heart for me

it’s protected by metaphorical dogs security guards walls and gates

I would love to see you but we never worked

I wish you well

time will tell

if my decisions were correct

I still pray for you and respect your decisions

you have a family and a bright burning life

I live alone and have no wife

or children

I live in the land of could have been

but with all I have seen

this life passes by like a dream

and all our plans and schemes

can fail

and we flounder in the dark

where we lose our spark

but love is a door without a key

to me.

Strength unbowed

Strength unbowed

Savaged by words

but unbowed

and unbroken

I wish I wasn’t bothered

I wish I didn’t care

courage is sometimes acknowledging our fear

using it to drive us on

the art of leaning on adrenaline

sometimes I rattle the cage

the only war I wage is to be heard

above the caterwauling cattle

who prattle on.

but sometimes I know we all need to be heard

so I go silent for days

the only words are prayers

so strength is adaption

and love is peace

feast upon silence

don’t turn it into violence

fight for yourself because no one else will

it’s a bitter pill

that makes me depressed and ill

but I will fight until I can no more

because life is flawed

and we stand alone

Heavens our home

It was at the start

before our hearts

got jaded

My body may fade

but words are sharp as the day they were uttered

may you live a life without the clutter

of weak words.

Alice in chains

Chained through your timelines

you say release you from the curse

the curse of loving me.

I know the bite of your mouth

the viscous vicious nature of your tongue

We both see things from only our point of view

a blood red hue.

You try to reach me through the crowd

Sometimes I hear you loud

and sometimes you whisper

like the wind

This is my curse to know the truth

while in denial

there is no proof

I fight a desperate battle to be heard

maybe you will one day.

In the overtones of songs are the echoes of the promise we made

over every grass blade

our delirium

our love

our blood song curse

we are chained to the words we have said

they flow in our veins

I am your twin flame but we are caught in tragedy

separated

by lies

and our clones who stand as jealous spies

You are the light in my eyes

the only one.

Haunted mirror

The real god dies over and over again

forgetting again who they were

we were torn in two

male and female

lovers and through and through

in me and in you

in this physical plane

we feel physical pain

a constructed prison

for our collective soul

while the demiurge governs

our existence

only Christ and Sophia our collective soul offer resistance

The cure to the disease

The cure to the disease

Sparkling and wondrous

the cure to the disease

Experiencing unease

take these pills

tiny white capsules

that won’t make you ill

distilled love

wonder from above

the cure like forest bathing.

misbehaving

often the cure is the disease of a life

lived without regrets

all targets missed and not met

But to try

is to live and not die

a love fragile

but agile enough to succeed

to bleed is to be alive

To breathe is to thrive

the madness the sickness

is to expect no pain

no sadness in the rain

sunshine that burns the skin

balance is boring

whatever gets you through

is the life you choose to do

Man Kind?

Man kind?

I have a hard exterior

I feel inferior

I have never heard of unconditional love

conditions have always existed

behave

be good

do what you should.

If only I could

be the person you’d love all the time

and my thoughts were no crime

I am a man

I maybe kind

but suffering is why

because I know I cry

behind the mask

and tasks

are hard if you don’t why you’re different

and love is the only answer but it’s frightening

because it won’t be offered if your strange or different

and this is evident

from what I have experienced.

so I look to myself

for my own mental health

and kindness

to be a loving friend to myself…