I can’t be the man you want

No matter how you change the font

words stay the same

I know I am not your type, am I to blame?

I could be made of muscles with six pack and broad shoulder and arms of Steel

but I am not

I could be a scientist with a silver tongue eloquent or just very well hung

I am me there is only one version of myself

I can’t change

or rearrange

I realise my limitations

I won’t be able to perform and act as an imitation

I am who I am

Love me or let me go

for its you I love I know you know!

The God detective

The God detective

Through out my life my abstract mind has been able to detect and find patterns in life and the words people say. I know that life is a deeper mystery than people in the field of science and psychiatry think.
I have battled with my demons, demons which I still battle. I rattle the cage fight in the desperate stages and write in the pages of my own story. I maybe a dragon falling off the wagon of sanity. However I am intrigued by her she is the greatest story I will ever gain. I know her name is Sophia she is the girl with many faces.

I still see her sometimes though it’s strange the voices quieten and sometimes even stop. Is this a coincidence?

Art by Zoe Zass

Schizophrenia

This dreaming is dark

But I won’t lose my spark

sanity is a perspective

I don’t stand for the collective

the curtains I sit behind are walls

the fractured voice of someone I love calls

and tells me she hates and berates me

in the darkness of my mind

her unkindness

blinds me.

Binds me to the certainty that life is unfair

will it ever be repaired?

The stigma attached to me lies

the fire in my heart won’t die

and maybe I enlightened or frightened

of this form

since I was a daydreamer, after I was born

the storm of intrusive thoughts

the delusions in which I am caught

and I will argue that the stories I tell myself are yours too

you just aren’t boogie man blue

You think we are different

I am just medicated and irreverent

to this constructed reality

which you think is concrete

but where angels fear to tread I won’t retreat..,

Expander

Merging images

Refracted kaleidoscopes

love is time

and time is movement.

I am the places,the faces

of the extraordinary

Interacting on your soul

the way the singing bowl hums

and the waveform on your tongue

I am expansion of your cells

and your soul which dwells

in the cave of the overmind

The collective consciousness

breathing

the water seething seeping and flowing

the eyes which see into the all knowing

I am the light

which goes on

Burning

Your guide walking and showing you the way

it might be late in the day

but I am you and you are me

Music is magic

even the fire dances

to its song

it’s with you I belong.

Strange love for shadows

This insane love

loving ghosts in this town

I search for old shadows

there are plenty around

They are fickle

they hide from the light

they only want a quiet night.

You are my darkness and my light

the reason I still fight

the night and stars are yours to align

but your heart still isn’t mine

in this design,

I know we both spring forth

in fates curtains and discourse

But I love you like the sun

which causes shadows to hide

but at the end of the day

I call your name on the wind

the secret name you don’t even know yourself

I know we both don’t understand each other’s points of view

but I know one day I won’t sing the blues.