Darkness turning into light

Darkness turning into light

my fright turning into fight

all sadness I restrained

turned into love

my eyes focused on her

my picture on the wall

a flower opening her petals like wings 

begins to make me sing 

I know my true foes are triumph and disaster 

both are foolish things to master

I am time 

the fading 

into blades of grass

then emerging into the everlasting 

I am cast into the fiery furnaces of hell

tempered by water the river banks swell 

the steel of sword that comes out my mouth

Will protect the people I love

but sometimes will fly away like doves

and the bullets fired 

Will miss

and we will kiss them away

with words that heal

and reveal

hidden truths

like super sleuths

and detectives

that are respected.

Killed by a million insensitive words

Words go deep

they creep into my scars and wounds

I cannot tell that you meant it or not

or even realise the damage you cause

I know I am flawed 

But sometimes you love me open mouthed with the things that come from your jaw 

they are too raw.

If you strangle me it would be cleaner 

but your words are meaner

do you mean what you say?

Your words spray 

Cut like a split artery 

hurt people hurt people 

but sometimes evil is insensitivity

callous chaos 

I cry 

and want to die 

emotion abuse

obtuse 

and won’t relent 

I can’t vent or your words will grow worse 

and more vicious 

you and I are from different worlds 

and I can tell

that you believe I sometimes belong in hell.

This life

This life chaotic 

hypnotic 

energy rushes 

gushes all around me

A sea of endless particles of pain 

I look for the sunshine within the rain

the rainbows light

all fight leaves me

but I won’t give into its spite

the hate breathes

makes you believe 

In humanities downfall

It’s a tall order

living this life in the borders of strife 

where there’s no passport to any heaven 

or any country in that region 

the engine

the cogs of the machine

have us enslaved

even lucifer when he stood up to god

was thrown down and fell

into hell.

This life is pernicious cruel and harsh

most kindness is given by hard graft

and the silence is sometimes the only thing 

that makes us less daft 

for in speaking harsh words are sprayed 

like bullets across the page

or in our ears 

giving us fear and tears 

that scar our sanity 

in this reality 

where we study someone’s psyche 

but not its creator the hater who crafted their malice and spite

and if we don’t realise that they in turn were also formed from people who didn’t always give a fuck 

and told them their so called inner truth

Just to toughen them up,

and yet they didn’t water them with love

or feed them with grace

they deliberately chastised their minds

with words that were unkind

just to make them their clones

the worker unquestioning drones 

You shouldn’t base your life

on the ideals and ideas 

of people who gave way to fears 

and insecurities

give your life to making yourself you

a loving kind person a shining beacon a colourful hue.

Medusa

We all have it in us to bear a curse

that is worse than playing the victim

You used to be beautiful

now your lips are cold

and full of venom

behind your fangs

are the same hunger pangs

Braided hair now shakes with snakes

which bite and hiss

you used to be a temptress

now you turn people to stone

they leave you all alone

Beautiful woman savage with revenge,

avenge

what was taken away

the sky burns red

what was taken

Can never be given back

your tail snakes a hypnotic rhythm

Beautiful cataclysm

I turn to stone just another victim

In your eyes…

Jesus I am alone

The heartaches when I am in my home

pretending people are with me

my heart is a icy block a sullen stone

Sometimes in solitudes den

I pretend that I am free when

I am on my own

I am just recovering from life’s traumas

Sometimes I pretend I am jesus in a tomb

in my living room

waiting to roll away the stone

and be free with people who love me

but often people talk over my ideas

and conversation

I know I am alone

but with the voice in my head I never truly am

life is painful but I know I am!

alive and fighting wrestling with life’s gaping questions

and although people won’t agree with me

I am the marks the footprints I have left

I am the ideas that crept into your head from a poem I wrote years ago

my life is art

and it drives my heart

but like paper sometimes I am lost in the bin

of life

sometimes in mundane drudgery we find that life is unkind

but it’s the only one I have…

Life inverted

He sells himself and his soul

for money to the highest bidder

His soul has long since withered

Tells people he believes in god

but believes in the pound and the crown

his love is only a noun

a name for something that lives underground.

He’s a politician

He only cares about money

and his power and authority

he’s in the minority

because he’s rich

Poor people are just opportunities

to him

just tools to use to win

this rat race

which he believes he’s risen above

no love

enters his heart

life is insane and it rips people apart.

This life is inverted dark becomes light

light becomes dark

we’ve lost our spark.

The psychopaths logic runs this world

the devils a lie the popes calling from hell

the president has a direct line

stars align.

We are fated to fall

no one can stand tall

When we follow the system

or we are apathetic

Part of a pathetic resistance

every where we look a false story

told as if we are ordinary

It’s scary.

We are god there is no separation

but power and money are forces of corruption

there is so much disruption.

This life is inverted

As above so below

the good are bad

the happy are sad

the rich are poor

the intelligent are dumb

psychiatric wards are full of story tellers and poets

they know the truth no one else can grow it

we preach to the cracks in the pavement no hearts can grow

grow your own

hide in your home alone

be the change you want to see

or be drowned in a sea

of denial.

which of us can smile

when people in Gaza die?

We have lost our humanity

Life inverted,

upside down

the only people who lead us are clowns

Last laugh

Psychopaths.

Alice in chains

Chained through your timelines

you say release you from the curse

the curse of loving me.

I know the bite of your mouth

the viscous vicious nature of your tongue

We both see things from only our point of view

a blood red hue.

You try to reach me through the crowd

Sometimes I hear you loud

and sometimes you whisper

like the wind

This is my curse to know the truth

while in denial

there is no proof

I fight a desperate battle to be heard

maybe you will one day.

In the overtones of songs are the echoes of the promise we made

over every grass blade

our delirium

our love

our blood song curse

we are chained to the words we have said

they flow in our veins

I am your twin flame but we are caught in tragedy

separated

by lies

and our clones who stand as jealous spies

You are the light in my eyes

the only one.

Haunted mirror

The real god dies over and over again

forgetting again who they were

we were torn in two

male and female

lovers and through and through

in me and in you

in this physical plane

we feel physical pain

a constructed prison

for our collective soul

while the demiurge governs

our existence

only Christ and Sophia our collective soul offer resistance

Occupied/possessed

I have been occupied

Like the sign on a toilet cubicle

I have been subjected to your ridicule

Your voice comes and goes

like the wind that blows

Maybe my heart was hollow

and needed to be possessed

but now I cannot rest.

Schizophrenia awareness day Poem

Schizophrenia and the caveman

I dreamt of telling stories

forged in magic and music.

I heard voices of gods

angels and demons

In the flickering flames

that kept me warm.

It was part of my evolution

but sometimes

did wisdom is seen as mental illness

Nowadays I am known as a schizophrenic

I was a caveman with a shamans knowledge

Now they say I am something to be feared

When I was just reaching out

to understand.